Friday, May 28, 2010

Friday Funny- She's Gonna Kill Me!


This past weekend I was reminded of one of my favorite childhood memories. I can't help but laugh (nearly out loud) every time I think about it.

I grew up going to a larger full gospel church in the city. Although it was a larger church, we had kind of a core group that became like family. All the kids hung out together and we shared a lot of meals together. There was one family that had eight children and the mom was very used to disciplining on a constant basis- so much so, that it really didn't matter if you were her child or not. If you were out of line, and within reach, you would be corrected by her. This was an age when this form of discipline was acceptable. It was more like being chastised by your aunt, and everyone was okay with that. And as one of the kids, you knew better than to get out of line within her reach. That was just part of the rules of the game.

We went to church on Sunday morning for more teaching and reading and Sunday evening was more for music/worship and prayer. About 50 adults would sing in the choir and I was constantly amazed at how just one look of stink eye could silence even the more rebellious teenagers in the back. It was a well known fact that if your mom or dad had to walk out of the choir pit and off the platform and into the area you were sitting, well, you were about to meet Jesus, and not through ANY form of prayer. On this particular Sunday-go-to-meeting night, we had a special musical guest. It was some band, I don't even remember the name. But they were stepping it up a notch and were laying down quite a groove in the church. Everyone was clappin' and singing and having a good time.

Little Jimmy, one of the youngest of the eight in that family, well, I just don't know what he was thinking. I mean, really, if your mother was 5'10'', big boned and had the reach of Stretch Armstrong,one would think that would be enough to quell most mischievous thoughts, let alone actions. The band is playing, and the sax player starts rippin' out fabulous this improv solo. It was along the style of Chuck Berry with a Johnny B. Good feel. Little Jimmy decided he was going to take things a step further and started dancing. Not completely uncommon in church, except that he decided to get in the middle aisle and start vigorously doing The Twist. Clearly, he was not being "moved by the Spirit", but just having himself a good time.

He didn't even have time to get "The Look". Without warning, Jimmy's mom was down from the choir pit and in one fell swoop snatched him up and began carrying him to the back of the church to the "Cry Room". While this room was used for babies and toddlers who were unsettled, we who had visited that room after our infancy knew there was an entirely different definition to "The Cry Room". Well, I don't know how Little Jimmy did it, but as his Momma was carrying him out, he managed to get out of her stronghold and he raced down the middle aisle, got to the front, dropped to his knees at the altar, threw his hands in the air and cried out:

"Pray for me preacher, 'cause she's gonna KILL me!"

Even the preacher couldn't hold it together. One by one, we gave way to sidesplitting laughter. The pastor, laughing the hardest, nearly fell out of his seat in the pulpit.

Yours, hoping you have a wonderful, fun Friday!

Melissa

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