Thursday, September 3, 2009

Thursday Thoughts-Stinkin' Disposal!

I'm swearing off the garbage disposal. It and I just don't get along. Last night, for about the fourth time in a year I clogged it up and could not get it to budge. Note that saying it was the fourth time I could not get it unclogged does not count all of the times I DID get the Alka Seltzer/Vinegar/Hot Water potion to work. I tried it three times last night and even added bleach, but to no avail.

I don't understand why a disposal is standard issue in a kitchen. The only thing it does for me is tell me what I should NOT put down there. No peelings. No pasta. No rice.  All of those things swell. No coffee grinds. Definitely no grease. Vegetables and cores make it sound like the garbage truck compacting heaps of trash. Spinach. . .  nah, that was a green, gooey, stinky mess. Egg shells seem to work okay, but that's about it. 

Being ever the optimist, I keep trying. And it keeps getting clogged. I don't know who in the heck designed it, but last night I found the problem. You see, I couldn't bear to hear my husband lecture me about what to and what not to put in the disposal so I decided to unclog it myself. Which probably would have been okay if we would have had a pipe wrench to begin with. After about half an hour of struggling with it, and having to hear the beginning of my husband's lecture which was cut short by a curt and deadly," This is not the time. Really." statement, I called my neighbor and her husband, who is all things mechanical, answered the phone. Even HE didn't own a pipe wrench. 

What the heck?!

But he WAS able to loan me some kind of wrench with teeth that actually helped me get the thing apart. I discovered last night that the lead in pipe is about a half inch wider than the place where the cross pipe joins, thus causing bottleneck, particularly when it comes to peelings that didn't get ground up in the first place.

This was, of course, after the pipe had exploded its nasty, stinky mess all over my pants and everything within a five foot radius.  

I actually managed to get it unclogged- without my husband's help. AND more importantly, I got it put back together and it works really, really good.

But no matter. I'm swearing off the garbage disposal. That certainly beats swearing AT it. And I'm going to the store to buy a pipe wrench.

Yours, wanting a moment to talk to the designer of those evil machines,

Melissa

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