Friday, July 15, 2011

Friday Funny- Did you HEAR what you just said???

WARNING- this may not be for male readers.... well, not wimpy ones. Definitely not never been married ones.

I had to go to the doc today. I'm not a fan of medical procedures. Last week I finally took a blood test that had been waiting for me for six months. I know it's silliness, but the whole needles thing makes me all jelly-legged and vomitty. NOT a good look for me. Today's procedure involved several incisions, so I was not looking forward to it. AT ALL.

So I'm in the patient room, anxiously waiting. I'm having a procedure in a yonder region located in the lower half of what I call "The No Zone". You see, when I first got married, when something was amiss medically, The Hubs would call his dad, who is a pharmacist. That's fine if you're talking about your own body with your own dad. But when they began discussing MY body parts, I firmly laid down the law with a slice to my neck, a slice to my knees, and declared everything in between "The No Zone", meaning they did not discuss and diagnose those things within said Zone.

Oh, and did I mention this was my OB doc? Riiiiiiight. So I'm in the patient room waiting. I waited long enough to decide I had to get dressed again, because seriously, it would be extremely embarrassing if I could not hold the gallon of coffee I drank while said procedure was being performed. I also nervously filed my nails and read half a magazine, all while dressed in the ultimate of doctor couture, the paper sheet. Yeah. Livin' large, baby!

So the doc comes in, (I must mention, I absolutely adore this man and his nurse. They've been very, very good to me) and he begins telling me about the procedure and prepping me. They have me on the table, the nurse helps me lay back, and he says,"Okay. Now, relax."

In the instant of silence, I could not help myself and simply BURST out with a BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!! so loudly they stopped and I called out,"Doc! Wait!"

I was laughing so hard I couldn't contain myself. Doc's head peers from around the medical scope and curtain. He's laughing too.

I say,"Did you just hear yourself? Seriously! You're about to put ten inches of metal in an uncomfortable place to make incisions (without any numbing or anything of the sort) and you're telling me to RE-LAAAAXX?!?!? How about we switch places and I'll try the same prep/procedure and phrase on YOU and see if you're able to kick back without a care in the world!"

Of course by this time, we're all laughing so hard that we had to wait a good five minutes before we could get anything accomplished.

Yours, relieved that it's over, and hoping you laugh the next time you're in the doctor's office,


No comments:

Post a Comment