But usually don't. Why? Because who would I say them to? Well, dear readers, it's you! YAY! Aren't you so excited?!?!?!
Here are some things that have been running around in my head this week. (Yes, I know, lots of space up there... hahaha!)
1.) Dear Chase Visa/MC,
Although I admire your tenacity and persistence in sending me an application for your fine credit card no less than three times a week over the past 2 years, if I haven't applied for your credit card yet, guess what- I'm probably not going to. That being said, I've begun throwing your applications into a bag placed next to the fire place. You see, the thickness of your application is PERFECT for kindling to start a fire. Now that I have so many, no need to buy Firestarter Logs this year! Thanks a bunch!
2.) Dear St. John's Mercy Medical,
I'm still not over the fact that you wanted to charge me $1,250 more than Metro Imaging for the same. exact. tests and consultation. I just can't see coming back to you for that price, especially when you cannot even to give me a gown that looks good on me, let alone closes in the back so my business isn't seen by everyone. I mean, for that price, shouldn't the gown be made of silk? And to that end, shouldn't you be serving hors d'oervres and a really good wine?
3.) Dear LeapFrog Friend,
First, let me define the term Leapfrog. It's a term I use for persons who are all about you when they need you, but once their attention is garnered elsewhere, the LEAP over you and are long gone. I'm done with you. But then they mysteriously pop up again when whatever else took them away bores them. You've just worn me out one too many times. Besides, with people like Karen in my life, why would I need a Leapfrogger? And when you were leaping over my head, the view wasn't all that spectacular and certainly not very fragrant. Please do us a both a favor and keep hopping along. Thanks a bunch!
Oh, I feel so much better. And now, onto my birthday celebration this evening with the girls. Looking forward to a great pedicure this evening!
Yours, wiggling my toes,
Melissa