Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Every so often, we are faced with dilemmas that, as adults, we must decide what the right thing to do is. And many times, what may be the “right” thing isn’t always the easiest or even the best for everyone involved. (It’s really hard being a grown-up sometimes, isn’t it?)confused

Right now, I’m faced with 2 dilemmas. Both involve some degree of abuse, but one is towards a child and the other is towards an older adult. Not surprisingly, they are extremely similar in that I feel responsible for their safety and well being.

In the case of the child, any action I take could result in bad feelings toward me (best case scenario) to a family torn apart (worst case scenario). Or anything in between. It could be devastating for this family, who I consider friends. Oh, and one more thing. I could be wrong about what I suspect.

But I could be right. And wouldn’t I rather take action and be wrong than do nothing and have been right about my suspicions?

About my older adult friend, I know the situation here with absolute certainty. My fear with taking action is how my friend will feel. He trusts this person, and will see me as the bad guy. No problem, I can take that. But will it reinforce the relationship between him and the abuser even more? Will he see me as the one who doesn’t trust him and believe in him to make the right decisions? She’s building him up and trying to alienate him from his family and friends. Hopefully, he’s smarter than that.

Elder abuse and child abuse. Not really so different. The abuser picks on the weak and defenseless. It’s up to us to step up and protect those we love, and even those we just like, if that’s what it takes.


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