We are very curious about how other parents feel about a variety of topics, so we have begun our "Tune-In Tuesday Debate." Every Tuesday, we will pose a question to you and ask for your comments. Some might be silly, and some might be controversial. We'll try to keep politics and religion out of it!
Our first Tuesday Debate centers around parents, especially moms, who have multiples. When I was pregnant with my twins, you would not believe the questions I got, ranging from the direct ("Oh, twins, did you go through infertility treatments?") to the more indirect ("So, do twins run in your family?") Either way, I found it to be an invasion of my privacy and basically, none of their business!
So if you have twins, how do you feel about the questions you got? And by all means, share the funny ones with us! If you don't have twins, what do you feel is appropriate to ask an expecting mother? And why?
Who knows, maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. What do you think?
Karen
Our first Tuesday Debate centers around parents, especially moms, who have multiples. When I was pregnant with my twins, you would not believe the questions I got, ranging from the direct ("Oh, twins, did you go through infertility treatments?") to the more indirect ("So, do twins run in your family?") Either way, I found it to be an invasion of my privacy and basically, none of their business!
So if you have twins, how do you feel about the questions you got? And by all means, share the funny ones with us! If you don't have twins, what do you feel is appropriate to ask an expecting mother? And why?
Who knows, maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. What do you think?
Karen
Posts
Our twins are adopted from South Korea-- so really other than a few really stupid questions we get mostly when just I am out with them I get blank stares OR if they figure out they are adopted they ask if they are REALLY twins - just once I would LOVE to say nope I went to the girl store and got our daughter and the boy store and got our son...I mean really. Our son is two minutes older than our daughter so yep they really are twins!
ReplyDeleteThe pregnancy questions didn't bug me so much as the comments afterward. The most irritating one still is "you have a boy and a girl you've got the perfect family. No need to try again"
ReplyDeleteI used to hate the "Are they Twins?" question, but I don't so much anymore... it can be a valid question (although not so much when they're infants) because some children are just really close in age. But, it's still the ones that are just really thoughtless... my all time fave is still "Better you than me!" Which, of course, I just want to reply to with, "I agree completely!"
ReplyDeleteHaving twins is a lot of hard work... but it's also a wonderful gift that anyone should be so lucky to receive. I think the main thing people just have to do is think before they speak... is your comment/question a friendly gesture, or are you just being intrusive/saying something they've probably heard about ten million times in the first year alone... :-p
I hated the question, but I think people are just curious and I didn't get too upset. When they'd ask if twins ran in the family, I'd say yes. They did, but it was on my grandpa (on my father's side), so it had nothing to do with our twins conceived with IVF. I just didn't want to get into our medical history with everyone that asked.
ReplyDeleteI have boy/girl twins and the question I love is are they identical? It takes everything I have not to respond like a total smart ass. Or another good one is how can they be twins when she has blue eyes and he has brown?
I don't see asking if you're having twins and if they run in the family is intrusive at all??? No more then Is it a boy, was it planned? I think when you're preggers people are both excited and curious. Be happy to be healthy and pregnant. Afterwards it turns into....is she going to lose the weight LMAO!
ReplyDeleteLOL the comment above: "you have a boy and a girl you've got the perfect family. No need to try again"
ReplyDeletethe person saying that is:
a) jealous b/c their children are all the same sex.
b) usually your husband hinting he's done.
I've always felt that it's the great unknown that sparks so many inquiries about twins from the general public. We have all heard the typical, "Are they identical?" and "Do they run in the family?", etc. People who don't have twins simply don't know as much about them, obviously...So, I tend to take the questions with a grain of salt. And, most of the time I feel flattered that strangers are so interested in my children.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite twin question of all time (and we got MANY) came at a very low point for me emotionally. I can remember exactly where I was in the mall when the woman asked me. I had a 20-month old daughter and my then 2-month old twin sons in a triple stroller and I'd had about 6 hours of sleep in the past, oh, I don't know, 2 years. She walked up, peered in the stroller and said, "Oh, how wonderful, triplets!" I'd get that a lot b/c the babies were so close in size. I said, "No, ma'am, my daughter is 18 months older than my sons." To which she replied, "WOW, THAT'S CLOSE! DID YOU PLAN TO HAVE THE TWINS??" I just smiled and immediately replied, "Yes, ma'am, we had sex twice in one night....... "
ReplyDelete