NO-NO’S ON THE BEACH!!!

I just got back from spending a week on the beach, and now that my eyes have stopped bleeding, I’d like to pass along a few suggestions for what I’d like to NOT see anymore. Please.

• Speedos. Men, unless you are an Olympic swimmer, you should not wear a Speedo. Especially if you are an overweight, elderly, hairy man. And doubly especially if you are an overweight, elderly, hairy man JOGGING.
• Bikinis. Women, just because you CAN wear one, doesn’t mean you SHOULD wear one. Enough said.
• Shaving. Really? Does your leg hair grow so fast that you need to shave your legs in the middle of the day? On the beach? At least go back to the privacy of your own room to do this.
• Jellyfish. Do NOT push the dead jellyfish back into the ocean. I don’t know if they can still sting someone, but just in case they can, leave dead jellyfish where they are. (Whoops, those were MY kids doing that! Never mind, I’m sure that’s okay!)
• Kids. Why am I more concerned about your kids drowning than you are? WATCH YOUR TODDLERS, PEOPLE!!!
• Smoking. Okay, I get it, you’re out in the open, you think it’s your right to smoke, blah, blah blah. Just try to be considerate please. Oh, and by the way, burying your cigarette butts in the sand is LITTERING. The beach is not one big ashtray. Please pick up your butts and throw them away.

So those were the highlights of my Spring Break vacation. Really, the family and I had a wonderful time, relaxing on the beach and playing in the (very cold) ocean. Some day we’ll live closer and I can put up a sign with all my rules. How do you think that will go over?

Karen