Let us first consider the infamous helmet sticker. When I first saw Stanford's helmets, from a distance, I thought it was an optical illusion used to distract the opposing team. Then I learned it was a sticker system. Apparently, when a player does something good, he gets a sticker. (Yes, I giggled when I typed that). As a mother of young children, we have used the sticker system. I just didn't realize it would be used in COLLEGE, let alone on the FOOTBALL team. I wonder what kind of signing bonus they get if they fill their entire helmet with stickers?
Secondly, let us consider the Oregon Ducks. To begin with, to say I was a fighting Duck would not really strike fear into the heart of the opposing team. Especially if they were a tiger, or a lion or a warrior. I mean, all three of these eat ducks, right? ( I can say this because my high school mascot was an owl, which, by the way, if you have ever been walking down a country road at night and had one screech and swoop down upon you, you would understand how deeply fieresome they actually CAN be!) So SOMEONE decided to give the Ducks socks dyed a color I only wore in high school, when punk and Madonna fashion was all the rage. Neon, glow in the dark socks. I'm guessing they were going for blinding the opponent? 
But this third one is my favorite faux pas- Maryland. First, their mascot is a Terrapin. I had to look that up. I had never heard a TURTLE called a terrapin. Wikipedia simply defines this as a fresh water turtle. Not very ferocious sounding to me. It makes being a Duck sound good. The uniforms, however, can only be described as football meets Nascar in one huge fashion DON'T! I couldn't even watch the game it was so bad!Clearly, there can be only one explanation for these uniform gaffes...
They HAD to be designed by a man!
Yours, still recovering,
Melissa
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