Friday Funnies!

My children have been relatively tame lately (she said with the greatest of caution in her voice), so enjoy a few of these anecdotes. . . .

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled

an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the

receptionist' s desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I

was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped

off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his

hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride

in the stroller too.'.

* * *

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy,

came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she

was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was

doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of

those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.'

* * *

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I

got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with

your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me

like you do now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to

do all those things anyway.'

* * *

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving

immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room

to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed.

'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With that,

the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!

* * *

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the

question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how

do they get there in the first place?' he asked innocently. After my

son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust.

'You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't know

the answer.'

* * *

Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down

and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I

told him. 'I'm going to Iraq .' 'Why?' he asked, 'don't you know

there's a war going on over there?'

* * *

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children

stricken with cancer, AIDS and blood diseases. One afternoon he and

his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A

counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't

know that Newman was a famous movie star, explained, 'That's the man

who made this camp possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on his

salad dressing bottle?' Blank stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his

face on his lemonade carton.' An eight-year-old girl perked up. 'How

long was he missing?'

* * *

His wife's grave side service was just barely finished, when there was

a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning,

accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little

old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.

Yours, wishing you happiness for your weekend,

Melissa