FOLLOW UP TO YESTERDAY’S RELIGION LESSON…

Okay, so just a few quick notes from my movie watching/religion lesson yesterday.

1. Apparently those were NOT Roman Priests who wanted to get rid of Jesus. No, they were Jewish Priests who didn’t want their power undermined by somebody calling themselves The “King” of the Jews. Hmmm, who knew we could be so devious? Not very nice at all. And horrible hats, if I must say myself!
2. That “pilot” dude I was referring to? Yeah, that was Pontius Pilate. (He was Roman!) Hey, I was close.
3. Mary? Still unclear whether Jesus slept with her or not, but I’m leaving that one alone. (But I must concede to my sister that Helen Reddy made the song “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” hit the charts, not Yvonne Elliman, although I like Yvonne’s version from the movie better.)

All in all, I learned quite a bit yesterday. Melissa, being a bit younger than Margee and I, didn’t seem to enjoy the early 70’s dancing and costumes as much as we did, but I think she secretly enjoyed giving a couple of Jewish girls some good New Testament lessons!

Karen

RELIGION–THE FORBIDDEN TOPIC

Karen’s note: You may not want to read this blog post if you are uber sensitive to religious jokes, because I’m not promising that a few won’t slip out. Intentionally. Sorry in advance! (Kind-of!)

Today is the day. Melissa and I have been planning this day for months. Today is the day that we watch the musical Jesus Christ Superstar together. The original. You remember, the one that came out in the seventies with the hunk, Ted Neely. (I saw him a few years ago reviving his role in the play. No, he is NOT still a hunk, but yes, he can still belt out those songs!)

The reason this is such a huge thing for us is somewhat complicated. You need to understand that Melissa is very spiritual and very dedicated to her religion. I think she’s Lutheran. Frankly, all the Christian religions are pretty much the same to me. If you believe in Christ, you’re lumped in the same category. I, on the other hand, was raised Jewish (could you tell?), but married a Christian-turned-Atheist, and now don’t really do much of anything. I guess you could call me a Lapsed Jew. Kind-of like a Lapsed Catholic, but without all that fire and brimstone, going-to-hell stuff!

Okay, so keeping that in mind, Melissa has actually never seen Jesus Christ Superstar. And I have seen it, movie and live performances, at least a dozen times. I LOVE IT!!! I love the music and the dancing and everything about it. But even more importantly, everything I know about the Christian religions, I learned from this musical. (I can hear the gasps!) Really! Do you think we learned that stuff in temple? No, I learned it when the movie came out.

I learned about Judas (was he really black?), Mary (I have been told NOT to suggest that she actually slept with Jesus), that Pilot dude (I always forget his name), all those Roman priests, and a ton of other guys.

So Melissa is going to let me know how true to life (so to speak) it really is. I’ll make sure she comments on this post so we all know what she thinks! But I hope she won’t comment on my singing voice!

Karen

PS Happy Birthday to my MUCH older sister who will be joining us!

Monday Madness- Mama Ain't Playin'.

A friend of mine, whom I love dearly, recently posted on her blog about going through a house funk. She asked what people do to get out of theirs... And this came tumbling out:

First off- I so understand. I went through the Thing today. It always hits the day before I have my cycle. You know, I feel like I have NO focus, I’m NEVER going to amount to ANYthing and why the HECK does this house always look like a tornado hit it? So here’s a few things I do:

1. I start tidying up. I pick one place on the main floor (usually the dining room table, because I need a BIG place) and start piling up all the clutter and crap and things that need to be put away. I put it all there and get the other rooms in order. Then I can go through the pile and do the following: recycle, put away/store and toss. We recycle nearly everything, so I rarely feel guilty for tossing. To that degree, we even have a trash bin in the garage for the semi annual appliance/computer recycle event.

2. I have what I call a Buy Back Bin. Kids leave stuff laying around? Shoes? Toys? ANYTHING of theirs? I give them fair warning that I’m cleaning up and if they don’t pick up after themselves, it goes in the Buy Back Bin. They can either buy it back -a quarter an item- or it can get donated to Good Will. Mama Ain’t Playin.

3. If all else fails, I throw crap in the fireplace and torch it. What can I say? A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

Hugs, Fluid Pudding (well, not really because I know you’re not a hugger. How about a high five?). Hope some of these ideas work!

I'd love to see the idea of the Buy Back Bin catch on all around the nation... Hmmmm.... maybe I should put a Mac and Chicken Fingers logo on them? It's a thought!

Yours, praying you are NOT going through The Thing today,

Melissa

Friday Fun

Let's be honest. It's Friday and I got nuthin'. I know I'm supposed to be funny today, but frankly, I'm not feelin' it. A girl just can't be funny all the time. I mean, I'm inherently easy to laugh at, because I'm just me, The Original Walking Party of One, but today, all comedic senses have drained from my body, no where to be found.

I think it's time to go to the pool. Maybe I'll find it there.

Yours, simply chillin',

Melissa

HONESTY: 3, DISHONESTY: 1… WE WIN!!!

Lately I have seen shining examples of very honest and very dishonest people, and I am proud to say that the honest ones have won out over the scumbags! Let’s start with the sad, sad story so I can end on a high note:

Our family went to see a movie a few weeks ago. Since we got there early, anticipating a large crowd, we let the boys bring their iPod Touches. Eric gave me his when the movie started, but Adam put his in his pocket. Too bad, because it slipped out during the movie, never to be seen again. AND, while I was rooting around in my purse for my low calorie snack, my Ray Ban sunglasses fell out, unnoticed by anyone except the person who picked them up after the movie ended. Neither of these items was turned in, of course. Even though the iPod had a decal of Bart Simpson on it, which would have told ANYONE that it belonged to a kid. Yes, it was a very expensive movie for my family!

On to the good. On my way to Cancun for the Sister’s Trip 2011, we stopped in Dallas to pick up Sister #1. I went to the bathroom in the airport and accidently left my purse in the stall. Just as I was screaming to Sister #2, “Oh S#&%, I LEFT MY PURSE IN THE BATHROOM!!!!!!,” a woman was walking by and grabbed my arm and said, “Wait, is this it?” There she was, holding my purse, about to bring it up to the desk. My heart started beating again at that point!

Next example was also in the airport. In fact, they all are! Last weekend, on my way to Dallas for a short Sister’s weekend (Hmmm, is there a trend here?), I’m in line to check my baggage when an employee yells out a woman’s name. The woman next to me waves her arm and the employee hands the woman her wallet. This woman just had the look of total shock on her face. She had no idea she even lost her wallet, and some honest stranger turned it in. Can you imagine how she felt? She was horrified, relieved, you name it!

An hour later, I’m sitting on the plane and reach down to turn off my phone, when I realize my phone isn’t in my purse. CRAP! I had set it down next to me on my chair in the terminal. I jump up and run off the plane (others were still boarding), yelling to the flight attendant, “I LOST MY PHONE!” Then I get to the terminal and yell to the guy taking tickets as I’m running past him, “I LOST MY PHONE!” He yells back “What’s it look like?” I say, “I don’t know, a phone,” thinking, what’s he asking me a stupid question like that for? Then it dawns on me that perhaps he actually has my phone, so I slow down, tell him what kind of phone I have, and sure enough, somebody had turned it in to him.

So the moral of these stories is this: there are still a BUNCH of honest people in the world. At least in airports!

Karen

Monday Madness- Uhm, Summer Break? Are You Sure?

5:45 AM- Hush up Lola before she wakes the entire house

5:50- Try to go back to sleep

6:35- Finally give up and brew coffee

7:00- Wake the kids and start a load of laundry

7:10 Wake the kids- try to eat breakfast and tidy up the kitchen

7:30- remind them we are leaving in 15 minutes

7:31- Pack all the necessary bags for the day

7:45- Yell for the kids and try to finish getting ready myself

7:50- Start getting them out the door

7:55 Pull out of the driveway

8:00 Turn around because Z1 forgot something

8:10 Swim Practice for Z2

8:15 Return home for the second forgotten item

8:30 Get back to swim practice

8:45 Pull Z2 from swim practice

9:00 Drop Z1 off at summer camp while Z2 changes in the car

9:10 Arrive at St. John's Vacation Bible School. Drop off my child and begin helping herd the other children who are lost or need instruction (With 1,000 kids attending- no joke- there's a LOT of herding going on).

9:30 Finally get to my desk to start returning phone calls and cancel a musical theater program.

11:00 Meeting

12:00 Pick up Z2

12:30 Finish work and clock out

1:00 Make it home finally (the parking lot at VBS is a zoo!) and have lunch

1:15 Another load of laundry, pick up the house, begin folding dry laundry

2:00 Put a meal together for a friend while talking with another friend on the phone

2:15 Get a script refilled

2:30 Facebook break (yay!)

2:45 Pack up the car, leave the house to pick up Z1 and two other friends from camp

3:15 Get everyone placed in the car, begin driving down Manchester

3:25- Hey! McDonald's! Who wants an ice cream cone?

3:45- Meet my friend's spouse at the gas station to hand off the meal (she's recouping)

4:05 Drop off the other campers

4:10- get home- get my athlete prepped, and make sure Lola eats before we leave

4:45- Early dinner because we have a game

5:15- leave for the game

6:00 BASEBALL!

8:25- home after a great game but disappointing loss

8:30-pull a few weeds in the garden and stake up my snap peas

8:45- Grab my computer and blog

9:00 watch my new favorite show: Platinum Hit

My question: WHEN does Summer BREAK begin?

Yours, feeling like I have kids in half day preschool again,

Melissa

Friday Fun- HUGE CELEBRATION!!!!

Here at the B house, we are having a celebration today. HUGE celebration. I mean, break out the streamers and confetti. Turn up the music and shake your groove thing. Light up cigars and pour the champagne!

We've been waiting for this for FIVE years now. Many meetings in the village. Grown men plotting mayhem in my front yard. Getting up at the crack of dawn to scope out the scene. Lying in wait for movement in the dark. Countless phone calls to various strategic planners. Money invested in countless ideas and methods. And today, dear readers, our goal has been met and we are celebrating hard core. All because...

We. got. the. MOLE!!!!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Yes, it's the little things. That turn into big things. And they're all worthy of celebration!

Yours, thinking I need to bake JD the Mole-inator a cake or something,

Melissa