WOW, IS MY BRAIN FRIED!

I would love to blame my age, or so much going on in my life right now, or hormones or stress, but the reality is, it’s really just good  old fashioned airheadedness. (Is that even a word?  Well, in my airheaded world , it is!)

Every so often we are asked to contribute to a gift bag, which happened again this past week for a Baby Expo in Chicago coming up in August.  So I designed these cute little coupons for a free eBook of The Caregiver Organizer for MY Child (shameless plug with a link) and made 100 copies.  Melissa and I spent about an hour cutting them out and taping a sucker onto them (you know, so they stand out amidst all the other goodies in the gift bag).  Then, when I checked the coupon in the shopping cart to make sure I set it up correctly, I realized that I set the expiration date at August 31, 2001 instead of 2010.  No biggie, I changed it, saved it, and all is well.

That is, until Melissa checked the coupons that had the suckers taped to them.  Yep, they also said 2001.  OOPS!  And the funny thing is, it wasn’t like I just transposed the numbers…twice.  No, I saw it, knew it looked a little funny, but shrugged it off because I was sure it was right.  OMG, WHAT WAS I THINKING???  So while I’m beating myself up, my sweet business partner is telling me that it’s no big deal.  (I’m pretty sure she wanted to beat me up also, but she’s too nice to do that, and she really wanted to go out to the pool!)

Did we re-print all the coupons and re-tape all the suckers?  Naw!  We just took a Sharpie and blacked out the year.  We figured people will just have to figure it out themselves! 

Then we went out to the pool!

Karen

Tuesday Tidbit- How much more of Summer Can I Take?

OH. MY. WORD.

How much longer until vacation?

Oh wait. I forget. Vacation is generally not vacation for the mom, who has to wash and pack and still think about meals and schedules. It's really just living in another place for a week. True, there is the break from the cell phone and the emails, but I will have all that catching up to do upon my return.

But man, the beach sure sounds good right now.

Here in the B House, we have hit the summer wall. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's the end of June and I am looking at school supply lists and counting the days until I regain my own freedom. Let me be clear, I LOVE my children. But after the throwdown Z2 had this morning, I am counting the days until school begins.

August 17th.

I think that's about six weeks.

If you have any ideas beyond heavy drinking or fasting and prayer that will help me get through this six weeks, let me have 'em, 'cause I am all ears! Anyone else having this in their house?

Yours, reconsidering buying that pool pass,

Melissa

QUALITY FAMILY TIME…REVISED!

Saturday night, my family and I went out to dinner, like we always do,  and after dinner stopped for ice-cream, like we usually do (I get to have one bite from everyone’s!) then went back home to sit around the pool and eat our ice-cream.  It was a lovely evening, just sitting together, enjoying each other’s company and spending quality time with one another.

That is, until I took a look around at each of us and realized… HEY!!!   WE’RE NOT TOGETHER AT ALL!!!  Each of us was sitting with our own hand-held electronic, totally absorbed in whatever little screen we were staring at.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  And I was JUST AS GUILTY!!!  (I HATE when that happens, and I can’t just blame it on DH!)

My husband was playing with his new phone, doing who-knows-what, Eric was playing a game on the PSP, Adam was playing something on my IPod, and I was checking email and Facebook on my phone.  WHAT in the world happened to our family evening?  How did it turn into THAT?  Heck, even watching TV together beats that!  At least we’re staring at the SAME screen when we watch TV or a movie!

Yeah, you can bet I’ll be making up for that one for a while!

Karen

Friday Funny- Flying Chipmunks and Red Tulips

This Spring has brought new meaning to the Chipmunk Varmint Wars. In honor of what may be their final days, I am reprinting an entry from 2006. Chipmunks, squirrels, baby bunnies, and all other varmints, BE.WARNED.

Last Fall I planted 80 (yes, eighty) red tulip bulbs. We have a large flower bed in front of our house and I love the first blooms of Spring. Along with those 80 red tulips I planted 80 yellow daffodils. (I bought them in bulk). It took me HOURS to plan it and then get them all planted. I am not one who enjoys sweating, so this was a true labor of love. All winter long I would smile when I thought of how beautiful my flower bed would be when the snow finally melted and they popped their little green heads out of the earth and opened up to welcome Spring. Finally, it began to happen. As I eagerly awaited the promised blooms, I began to notice something. All of the daffodils were coming up with great ease. But the tulips? They seemed to be growing smaller by the morning. Perplexed, I wondered what was going on. Morning by morning I would check their little sprouts only to find that something was gnawing them. Then one morning I found some of the bulbs dug up and carelessly thrown aside. I was p%$#@. . . well, you get the picture. How dare something steal my tulip joy!

As Spring wore on, I discovered a chipmunk living under our front stoop. Aha, I thought. This Tulip Taster must be run off. I would not let my joy be thwarted another season. I relaxed about it a bit until he started eating my petunias, and then digging up my baby hostas. Nobody messes with my petunias and walks away whole.

I was now angry enough to consider, just consider, putting out baby aspirin for him to munch on. I was told that one taste of those and he would crawl off some place to go to the great wood chip pile in the sky. But I just couldn't do it. Number 1, I couldn't bear the thought of knowing that I was poisoning a little creature my kids loved to watch. Secondly, I did not even want to imagine the stench his little rotting carcass would bring as he burrowed himself under my stoop to kick off. Then I would have to dig him out and that would only make me more aggravated.

So what to do? I began spraying Deer Off. Whew! Ever smelled the stuff? NASTY. It is loaded with coyote urine. (Rabbit Trail: So how does one collect coyote urine anyway? Do the coyotes walk around with catheters all day? What a sad way to live your short coyote life!) It worked until the next rain. Not that much of a problem as dry as it has been lately, but still, a bit of a pain. I was talking to my neighbor and he immediately went inside and got me his chipmunk trap. My husband laughed at me when I brought it home last Sunday. Ribbed me for a good 15 minutes.

He laughs no more.

After setting the thing only TWICE, I caught myself a chipmunk. HA! Take that ya varmint!

Now that I have caught him, what the heck am I going to do with him?

Oy. I hadn't thought this through completely, now had I?

So off to the park I drive, praying the entire way that he would not stink up my car or get out of the trap and attack me. I make it to the park and take the trap out of the car and set it on an incline to get him in one area. I find myself a big stick because I am NOT about to touch it. Take a deep breath. Exhale and breath again just one more time for good measure. Go over again in my mind what I will do if the thing should come out, attack and bite me (Which would include A LOT of running around, screaming and batting the poor thing before I punt him into the woods). At this point I tell myself to just hurry up and let him go before I pass out. One more big breath and I push the lever.

That thing ran so fast into the bushes I don't think his paws touched the ground but once. I knew squirrels could fly, but I didn't think chipmunks could.

At that moment, I felt even more empowered than the first time I fixed the vacuum cleaner. Tonight I stand before you:

Shaduka, Empress of the Chipmunk Hunters!

Yours, giddy over the slightest accomplishment, (especially as my husband is eating crow tonight),

Melissa

Thursday Thoughts- You've GOT to ask!

Today I definitely have something for you to think about. It concerns medical costs.

I know there has been a lot of debate and conversation about health care insurance and coverage and rising medical expenses, etc. ad naseum. I cannot stress enough how much you need to take care of things and be proactive in your care, but also in managing your expenses. Here is what really blew my top this past two weeks. . .

Remember last summer when I had that scare with my chest and it turned out to be fibroid cysts? Well, after a visit to my doctor a few weeks ago, he told me now he wants not only a mammogram, but an ultrasound of my chest, just to be sure. Okay. I'll schedule it. I decided to call my insurance first to see how much of it would be covered.

ZILCH.

Nothing is covered until I meet my deductible.

And I'm paying HOW MUCH every month for WHAT?!?!?

I thought, being a Dr. ordered mammogram, there would be no question of having it covered. BZZZT! Whammie!

So I start pricing it out, knowing that I would have to pay for it out of pocket. I spent a full DAY on the phone (in the end, I spent THREE days on the phone getting it all sorted out). Here's what I found out:

For a full mammogram at the hospital breast care center it is $450. The ultrasound will cost $1,000.

So who happens to have $1,450 just laying around for medical expenses? Not me, for sure! But what to do, because I have to put this to rest. It's pretty painful every month, so I want to make sure everything is okay in that area. So I called everywhere, even the county health clinic. By this time I was desperate. Long story short, the worker said even if I could qualify (which I can't) she would have to send me to an x-ray place.

Which got me to thinking. . .

So I called the X-ray place directly and here's the quote I got:

If I pay cash, not going through the insurance, my costs for a full mammogram and ultrasound will be:

$184.

Yes, your eyes are working just fine. That's a total difference of over $1,200.

Yes, I am absolutely relieved that I will be able to afford it. And completely steamed at the price difference.

When I called the hospital to cancel my appointment, they asked why? When I told the man my story, even HE could not believe it.

Moral: don't blindly accept what they hand you. ASK. QUESTIONS. GET PRICES. Go in with your eyes open. Knowledge is sometimes the most powerful tool and bargaining chip you have.

Yours, now waiting for my appointment in another week,

Melissa

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: NEIGHBORHOOD BALLOON LANDING

Okay, so maybe next time my kids tell me that a hot air balloon is landing in our neighborhood, I’ll believe them!

Karen

Tuesday Tidbit- Or is that TUESDAY RANT?

Warning- the following blog post will have nothing to do with anything about caregiving or kids or parenthood or anything useful. There's just something I have to get off my chest. So you, my friends, are today's lucky audience!

I'm a runner. (Wow, that could go so many different directions. . . .) Three mornings a week, I get up at the crack of dawn and do some roadwork- anywhere between 2 to 4 miles. (Yes, mostly 2 mile stretches as of late, but at least I'm still getting out there). Running is my time to have some quiet and not think about anything except breathing in, breathing out and putting one foot in front of the other. I get up early for two reasons: 1.) The rest of the fam is still asleep. 2.) Not much traffic on the roads at 6 AM. It's serene, most days.

Notice I said "most days". Here-in lies my points of ranting:

1.) Yes, I know there is a sidewalk. I don't need you, a passing car, to roll down your window and inform me of that fact. The asphalt has a softer impact on my joints and there is less danger of tripping over uneven areas and falling flat on my face.

2.) I stay well over on the shoulder of the road. If there are five other lanes available, it doesn't hurt to give me a little extra room. Most people do this quite nicely. Including the county policeman who do not try to run me off the road. Or give me a ticket. They seem to understand that they are a vehicle and I am a pedestrian and heck, it's six o'clock in the morning, so why not just be pleasant and get along? But really, when there ARE five other lanes available, there is no need to run me off the road for your amusement.

3.) I realize that six o'clock in the morning is not the most pleasant hour to hold a conversation. A simple Good Morning or nod will do. 99% of the people out at this time of day are pretty polite. Then there are the cyclists. Not only do they run you off the road, a lot of them simply turn their nose up at you. Fine. Don't expect me to be pleasant the next time I pass you in my car. Remember, at some point, I'll be driving and you'll be riding.

4.) And for the cyclist who has run me off the road THREE times, I just want you to know, I'm no longer going to be nice about it. I'm bringing my football arm. Snobby Cyclist, meet Mr. Clothesline. And right behind him, Mr. Stink Egg all over your Tour de France helmet.

I know. The odds are I won't because I'm just too nice.

But a runner can dream.

Yours, looking forward to my next run,

Melissa