The Timetable On GUILT!

Is there an expiration on Guilt? Because there should be. I grew up Jewish, so already I have the corner on Guilt, but then I’m a Mom, so add another dose on top of that. My late husband was Catholic (yes, that in itself added Guilt to my life, that I married non only a non-Jew, but a Catholic), so I learned, and adopted, Catholic Guilt (which, I must admit, goes head to head with the Jews on the Guilt meter).

I have it from all directions, folks. It’s inescapable!

So why am I bringing this up? My niece is having her Bat Mitzvah this weekend and one of our cousins is coming in town who my sisters and I haven’t seen in probably a good 20 years or so. We can’t wait. We are SO excited to see her! But my excitement is tempered by one small (huge to me) incident that happened in 1986 that I still feel Guilty about.

Yes, you heard me right…1986. She’s probably forgotten all about it, but I haven’t. 26 years I’ve been carrying this around with me (did I do the math right?). So what do I do? Do I bring it up and apologize? Do I ignore it? I can’t ignore it. It’s like an elephant in the room that nobody can see but me. But it’s there! I have to bring it up. Okay, it’s settled, I’m apologizing for it.

Okay, thanks for letting me work that out! I have SO many other things that I feel Guilty about, at least that will be one less item on The Guilt List!

Guilt Sucks!

Karen

Monday Minute: Too Many Electronics?

If you read my post last Monday, you know that I was GUILTED into going away this weekend with the family to a (gasp!) military event. And while I wasn’t really looking forward to it, and was REALLY pissed at my husband for manipulated the situation to suit him, it was actually kind-of fun. (By the way, if you mention that to my husband, I will cut your hair off in your sleep!)

But truth be told, I was more nervous about the drive than the actual event. With stops, it was about 8 hours each way. My kids have never been on a road trip. If it’s more than a few hours away, we fly. We’re just not a driving sort of family.

Well I have to say, the kids were GREAT! And of course they were great. We had movies, the PSP, my iPod, along with tons of snacks. WOW! Let’s think for a minute about road trips when we were kids. (Of course, I’m assuming that everyone reading this is around my age. If you’re not, keep it to yourself!)

There was the License Plate game. We never did see Alaska or Hawaii, so how was anyone supposed to win? And we had a Bingo game, with road signs and such instead of letters and numbers. Then there was listing items in a category (decided by Mom) using the letters A through Z in order.

But the thing I remember most from childhood road trips was “THE LOOK” from Dad. (Jaws music playing here!) I still shudder, just thinking about it. If we got “THE LOOK” we knew we were in REAL trouble. Dad never did threaten to stop the car, he would threaten to smack our knees. But the thing was, he couldn’t really drive and aim for one of us. The backseat contained me and my two sisters, giving him 6 knees to smack. And he did! No matter who was in trouble, we all got smacked knees. So that’s why we dreaded “THE LOOK!”

Hmmmm, I wonder if I’ve ever given “THE LOOK” to my kids. Naw, probably not!

Karen

Monday Minute: GUILT, GUILT, GUILT

So why does GUILT work so well on moms? Is it that we strive for perfection? Is it because we are so afraid of doing something wrong in raising our children and they’ll turn out to be serial killers? Or is it just because we’re afraid of becoming OUR OWN MOTHERS, whom we obviously blame for all of our neurosis?

My DH wants to take the boys to a military event this weekend. MY birthday weekend. Okay, so secretly I’m thinking that this is THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER!!! Until he finds out the event is about 6 1/2 hours away, instead of the 4 1/2 hours he thought. Now, he’s trying to guilt me into going with them. Not only do I have ABSOLUTELY NO desire to go, I really don’t want to spend my birthday in a car for 6 1/2 hours or more.

He talked to one of the “wives” who will be there, and she told him all about the things that the wives do together, and how the meals are catered, and how much fun she has, even though she thought it would be boring and stupid. So I pointed out that if I went with him, I’d wouldn’t even be with him and the boys, I’d be spending my time with a bunch of ladies I don’t even know. So why go?

This is where the truth comes out: He doesn’t want to drive all that way alone, with the boys, on their first road trip ever. AAAAHHHH! Yes, I see it now. He wants me to take care of the children during the ride and keep them quiet busy for the hours we’ll be in the car.

And here is the worst part: I’ll probably do it. Why? Because he used the best weapon ever invented against moms: GUILT. If I don’t go, he’s not going to go either. He’ll take them someplace closer some day. (Yeah, right!)

So think about me this weekend, sitting in a car, on my birthday, going to an event I don’t want to be at, staying in a yucky hotel, being miserable.

But there is ONE thing you can count on: I’m going to make him feel as guilty as I can. ALL. WEEKEND. LONG!!!

Karen