(UNHEALTHY) HOLIDAY EATING TIPS!

This is technically a guest post, although she doesn’t know that she’s posting. My sister, Margee, sent this to me the other day. I’m telling you this so that you don’t think that I, a Weight Watchers advocate, would pass along this advice. Let me say that again: THESE ARE NOT MY EATING TIPS!!! Nevertheless, they made me laugh, and right now, we can all use as many laughs as possible, so here is Margee’s guide for Holiday Eating:

10 diet tips to get through the holiday season:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Happy Holidays – and happy eating!

Thanks Margee!

Karen

DOGS V. CATS

Most people are either Dog People or Cat People. I am a Dog Person, although I also have a cat. Her name is Sophie. I did not want her. Actually, neither did my husband. But we found her under a bush when she was only a few weeks old, and she was so dang cute, we all fell in love with her. Then she grew up into a cat, and that pretty much ended the love affair. Now we all just pretty much tolerate one another.

Here are Sophie and Bismark:

See the size difference? Guess who’s afraid of who? Ha! Yep, my 100 pound dog is terrified of my (maybe) 12 pound cat. If she’s laying in a doorway, or on the steps, he’ll just stand there and wait for her to move rather than go around her. If she’s drinking water, he’ll wait until she’s done. But I can tell she deliberately takes her time, just to annoy him.

This video beautifully illustrates the difference between cats and dogs. It’s hilarious!

Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did!

Oh, and by the way, I do love Sophie, just in a different, cat-like way!

Karen

Monday Madness and Minutiae

We did a little bit of Christmas shopping this weekend. It's been good for The Hubs and I to get out together. Christmas is a team effort. It has to be. You see, hour-wise, musicians work year around. But it just happens that a LOT of those hours occur in December. Believe me, I'm not complaining. I am absolutely 100% grateful that I get to do what I LOVE and earn a paycheck. But The Hubs and I have learned to approach this season with military tactic and strategical planning. To underscore this mentality, he bought me one of my favorite signs while we were out as a pre-Christmas present:

The Hubs gets me. That's why I keep him around. ;)
Gotta love that man!

Yours, keeping calm and carrying on,

Melissa

Monday Madness- I admit it....

I'm having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. I don't know why. We have the entire house decorated. There are lights going up on the hour in my neighborhood. I have some Christmas shopping done (not nearly all of it, but some big checkmarks on that list!) and I'm thinking about baking. And then I think about sending out Christmas Cards and that's when I want to throw in the towel. Literally. I, the Year Round Christmas Planner, am ready to buy for my family only and go to one or two parties and call it good. After that, I will settle down for a loooooooooooong winter's nap. What is wrong with me?


Maybe it's the pressure of getting everything done and now that I'm working more, just keeping up with groceries and cleaning is an achievement. Maybe it's the fact that my kids no longer really want toys... they want electronics. We're having a lot of fun together, I just didn't think I was going to have to work my body that hard. (Oh yes- Just Dance on the Wii. It's, well..... let's just say we a white, white family. Mama can count and play and sing anything. Minor choreography, not a problem. Black Eyed Peas style? We'll stop with the visuals right there.)

Maybe it's the realization of how quickly time does pass. I don't know. Maybe I need to go light my Advent Wreath and reflect on hope (that's this week's candle). 

I know the detachment will pass. I hope it happens soon. And I hope that it comes with snow.

Yours, settling down for a medium winter's nap,

Melissa

Friday Funny- Warning! Contagion!

A few weeks ago, I was taking Z2 and a neighbor child to school. We passed a bus stop that was clearly for high schoolers. There were four teens waiting for the 7:45.

"Look at that," I remarked. "They're all standing ten feet away from each other because they can't take standing next to each other."

"Why are they like that?" asked the neighbor child.

Before I could engage my brain-to-mouth filter, my post high school reunion self said, "Oh.... it's puberty. Messes up your brain and thinking and you think you can't be seen with this person or that person and if everyone would just get over themselves and learn to accept people with their differences, they just might find out they could get along and actually like each other and can be pretty good friends."

His eyes got wide and he looked at me with great concern and said,"Is puberty contagious?"

If he only knew. But then again... he's about to find out! 

Yours, thankful to be over the contagion called puberty,

Melissa

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

It’s time once again to say THANKS to all of you, dear Readers, for your continued support over the years. Melissa and I love writing this blog in connection with our eBook series, The Caregiver Organizer, and we love knowing that we touch you a few times a week (when we remember to post!). Usually with our funny stories, sometimes with our outrage or frustrations, but always with our honesty. And we love hearing back from you. So keep those comments coming and let us know you’re out there and what you’re thinking!

Have a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving. We’ll be back soon!

Karen

Monday Madness-Where Have We Been?

So sorry for our absence, dear readers. I had a major fundraising event a week ago Friday, Karen's been sick (Pneumonia? It's going around!) and then there was the election. All of that to say, yes, it's been quite chaotic as of late. And from all of these activities we go straight into the holiday season, which for the musicians, means a whole lotta work right now and not much after Christmas. Not that I'm tweaky about it yet or anything like that. :)

But today, I'm taking a moment to breathe. I'm doing the 21 day thankfulness challenge. And even though today's thankful list includes being thankful for steam cleaners and the extra time to clean up that coffee spill out of the carpet right away and the fact that The Hubs was not there to see me do it (priceless!), I still have to admit, we live pretty good lives. Yes, we all have inconveniences. And heart-stopping moments. We have even experienced catastrophic things. But we're still here, still chuggin' along, still finding things to laugh about. And for that, I'm thankful.

So go ahead- I dare you. For the rest of November- heck, the rest of the year!- find something every single day to be thankful about. Bet it just might do you some good.

Yours, thankful the coffee actually came OUT of the carpet,

Melissa