WE’RE IN A BOOK!!!

If my neighbors wouldn’t complain, I would yell this from my rooftop.  But that would only reach a few people anyway, so I’m yelling through cyberspace in my blog…

WE’RE IN A BOOK!!!

This is about the most exciting news EVER!!!

Our friend, Candi Wingate of Nannies4Hire.com has written a  FABULOUS book called The Nanny Factor, A Parent’s Guide to Finding the Right Nanny for Your Family.

Some of the information you’ll find in this valuable resource include:

• The health benefits for your children of having a nanny in your house
• The myths about nannies and the real truth
• How to hire the right nanny for your children's needs
• What to pay your nanny (and it's less than you think)
• How to stay in touch with your children while you're at work
• How to check references and what background checks to run
• How a nanny can keep your household running smoothly

Candi is full of experience, having been a nanny herself and now running Nannies4Hire.com full time and using a nanny for her own children.  Oh, how I wish I had had this book 9 years ago when I was hiring a nanny for the very first time!

You can purchase this awesome book here for only $21.99 plus $4.00 shipping and handling.  And when you get it, look at page 95 to see The Caregiver Organizer for MY Child.  It’s SO exciting!  Candi even mentioned Melissa and I in her forward!  (As an author, you have no idea what a huge deal that is!)

So if you’re in the market for a nanny, this is a MUST READ!!!  It makes a great gift also!  And I’m not just saying that because I’m in it.  Really!  The book is fabulous, the website is fabulous, and Candi is fabulous for including us!

Karen

THE NANNY AGREEMENT

When you think of having a nanny, you don’t always think in terms of it being a business arrangement because it’s to personal to you. After all, she’s there to take care of your children, not your finances. But this must be treated like any other employer/employee relationship. When you start most jobs, you have to sign an employment agreement, right? So it’s no different here.

You’re thinking, “Really, Karen? A contract? C’mon now!” Believe me when I say that it’s as much for her as it is for you. Really, it’s about expectations. A nanny agreement isn’t just outlining pay and holidays and basic stuff like that, it’s putting down on paper EXACTLY what you two can expect from each other.

For example, if a package shows up at your door, can she sign for it? If she does, is she responsible for it? Is your nanny supposed to do any housework? What, specifically, does that include? (For instance, my nanny did my kids’ laundry, but there was no way I was going to have her fold my underwear. That was just too weird!) And when is she supposed so do this housework?

See what I mean? You may talk to her about such things, but it’s much, much better to have everything documented so that there are no surprises for either one of you. And it can really open up the lines of communication, bringing things up that neither one of you had even thought about, if the agreement is comprehensive enough.

For sample agreements, there are plenty on-line, or, of course, The Caregiver Organizer has one in it as well. But whatever you do, make sure the contract fits your needs, and have it checked over by your own attorney. (That’s my disclaimer for the day!)

Karen

YOU REALLY, REALLY NEED TO KNOW YOUR NANNY!

Last week I gave you some pointers on hiring your perfect nanny. But there are 2 points I need to expand on: Look into the future and know the people around her. Let me explain.

Our first nanny was the perfect person for infant twins. The typical “grandmotherly” type of woman, although she really wasn’t all that old. She just had that personality of calm and warmth and love. We couldn’t have been happier with her. But as the boys grew more mobile, we found out that she was having a bit of trouble keeping up with them. And when they were about 14 months old, we moved into a 2-story house, which is when she had to admit to us that her knees just couldn’t take it. Running after them on one level was difficult enough, but two levels would be murder for her. She had to leave us.

So hiring somebody who may be perfect for one stage of your child’s life may be great for the moment, but you need to look beyond that. Try to find somebody who can grow with your child and be perfect for all those wonderful stages.

My next piece of advice is more difficult to do, but necessary. It’s not only important to know the person you are hiring, but also her family and friends. Obviously you can’t run background checks on everyone (although it would be great if you could!), but you should ask her questions about the people closest to her.

Here is a true story to illustrate why this is important. My third nanny, whom I’ll call Jane, had a male roommate. No big deal, he was just a friend (actually he was gay, so I really didn’t have a problem with it!). Because St. Louis can be a really small big city sometimes, I found out that he wore an ankle bracelet because he was on house arrest for something, but Jane didn’t know what. My mistake was not pushing her to find out, because when I finally did find out (through my own means), it turned out it was for inappropriate conduct with a minor. I FREAKED!!!

I immediately called the agency who helped me hire her to ask their advice. Here was my dilemma: I loved her as a nanny, but she showed extremely poor judgment in sharing an apartment with this individual without knowing all the facts. On their advice, I drafted a contract requiring her, among other things, to leave my house key with me every night (there was NO way I was letting her bring that to where he could get it) and she could not discuss my family or my children with him under any circumstances.

When I presented this to her the next day and told her what I had found out, she was (I was glad to see) horrified. She signed the contract, and to my delight, moved out into her own apartment that following weekend.

Now, I’m not naive enough to think we can know everyone in our nanny’s life, but a little knowledge can go a long way. You are inviting her to be in your home, so it’s okay to pry a little, be a little nosy, and ask a few questions about her surroundings. It’s your right and it’s your duty. And frankly, if she has a problem with it, maybe she has something to hide. I’m just saying…

Karen

HOW TO FIND YOUR OWN MARY POPPINS

So you read my last post and decided, “It’s OK, I can learn to share my my home with another woman. I really, really want a nanny.” Good for you! Now the hard work begins: How do you find the perfect nanny for your family?

You basically have 2 choices: find one yourself or use a service. If you’re going to use a service, there are many, many websites that can help you do this. All I can say, is please check them out before you use any of these. I can recommend Nannies4Hire.com and Care.com because I have spoken with and worked with the owners and can vouch for their professionalism and character (and no, I have not been paid to promote their companies). As for the rest of the on-line services out there, I’m sure there are many good ones, even great, but I don’t have any personal experience with them, so just use your best judgment. Also look in your Yellow Pages for local services, which is what I did. I liked the personal touch (okay, and I didn’t really know about the on-line services 10 years ago!) and found a fabulous service in my area to help me.

If you want to try to find your nanny on your own, there are many different avenues to try. After my first nanny left, I thought I’d try to save some money and look myself. I asked friends for referrals, but that didn’t really get me anywhere, so I put an ad in the local paper. WOW! Let’s just say I learned to net out some of the responders over the phone, but still, it was quite the experience! I did, however, find a woman to be our next nanny. In The Caregiver Organizer, there are tools to help you with interviewing, and even a Work Agreement, which is necessary to outline what is expected from the nanny, as an employee and from you, as the employer. You MUST get background checks on anyone you plan on hiring, though. There are services who will do these checks for you. I cannot stress this step enough! (Next week, I’m going to write about why it’s also important to know the people in your nanny’s life as well…stay tuned!)

Here’s my true story for the day: The woman who I hired on my own turned out to have some, well, let’s just say “baggage.” I finally let her go after about 6 months. When I went back to the service who had helped me find my first nanny, I told them about her. They immediately knew who I was referring to. They had interviewed her, but had not taken her on as a client because they had seen some “issues” with her that I had not seen. Lesson learned: Sometimes letting the professionals do their jobs is worth the money they charge. Hmmmm!

Karen

SHARING YOUR HOME WITH NANNY

When my husband and I found out we were going to have twins, one of the first decisions we made, after the decision that NO, we would NEVER BUY A MINI-VAN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE (and yes, we’ve stuck to that!) was that we would hire a nanny instead of use day care. That turned out to be one of the BEST decisions EVER! (Probably even better than that mini-van decision, although that could be a toss-up!)

But before you hire a nanny, you must be prepared for many adjustments. It’s not easy having another woman in your household. Not for you or your husband. For him, it’s like having two wives sometimes, and not in the good way! For you, you’re sharing almost everything. And sometimes that’s good, because you’re able to share a lot of the responsibilities and delegate a lot of them to her. But you have to remember that she is basically in charge of the house and the kids from eight to five or so while you are gone.

I know, you’re thinking, “No way, Karen, it’s MY house and they’re MY kids and I’M the boss whether I’m there or not.” And in theory, you’re correct. But the reality is, you ain’t there and you ain’t the one making the decisions. Yes, you set the guidelines on how to run the household and what the children eat, drink, play with, etc. (And of course it’s all filled out in The Caregiver Organizer that you leave for her.) But she’s the one handling the minute by minute details that come up, day in and day out.

The bottom line is, you must be prepared to let go. You cannot maintain the control that you’re used to having when you have a nanny. It will just end up stressing you out, plus putting huge amounts of stress on your nanny, which will not be a good situation for your kids. If you try to micro-manage a nanny, she will end up leaving you. She needs to have a certain amount of independence in order to do her job effectively. That does NOT mean to let her do what she wants, of course. She is still your employee, taking care of YOUR KIDS, and that always gives you the right, and the duty, to keep your eye on her. But that’s another post for another day!

So just look at it this way… you now have a wife! Hmmm, interesting!

Karen

BY THE BOOK IS ON SALE!!! TODAY ONLY!!!

How many times have you left tons of notes for the sitter, only to realize halfway through dinner that you forgot to tell her that ONE most important thing? You should be relaxed when you get time away from the kiddos.

Melissa and I want to help every parent out there get more organized when it comes to childcare so that you CAN be relaxed, whether you get away from your kids everyday or once a year! (Oh, but if it’s only once a year, you need to get out more, girlfriend!)

By The Book: How To Take Care of MY Kids is a workbook for parents to fill out with information about THEIR children to give to their caregiver. This could be a full time nanny, occasional babysitter or even Grandma. (Okay, let’s be honest. It could even help Daddy, right?) Having everything organized will give you peace of mind when somebody else is watching your children.

TODAY ONLY we will be selling the hardbound book at HALF PRICE! Only $9.95 plus s/h. Just go to http://www.bythebookkids.com/ and use coupon code OCTSALE for your 50% discount!

And if you don’t have small children, do you know anyone who does? Or do you know anybody who is about to be a mom for the first time? This makes a GREAT gift!

Karen

Review on Care4Hire.com

Review:

You know… we’re busy. And not just a little busy, a LOT busy. On any given day we can be a chauffer, housekeeper, problem solver, mediator, entertainer, mechanic, nurse, employee (or boss), dog groomer, concierge, and above all, caregiver. We seem to take care of everyone (except ourselves, but that’s a whole different issue) including our kids, our spouse, our parents, our pets, our neighbors, and even the stranger at the grocery store who needs help getting something off the shelf.

Whew! We need help sometimes, if for no other reason than to save our sanity. But where to go for this help? I’d hire someone if I just knew where to find them. Well, now there is such a place.

Care4hire.com is an online database for families and caregivers to search babysitters, housekeepers, tutors, elder/companion care, pet sitters and other miscellaneous services. A free preview of available caregivers is available to families. Whether you need a caregiver for a few hours to a few days, you will find it at Care4hire.com. Once you are a registered member, you will be given immediate access to caregivers through email and phone.

So I went to Care4hire.com and entered my zip code. Here’s what came up for me within a 25 mile radius:

• 348 babysitters/nannies
• 9 housekeepers
• 8 tutors
• 16 companion/elder caregivers
• 19 pet sitters
• 17 miscellaneous helpers

WOW! Surely, even someone as neurotic and picky as I am should be able to find somebody to help me out from all these prospects. And they even offer background checks (for an additional fee) and suggested interview questions.

GIVEAWAY:

The president of Care4hire.com, Candi Wingate, has generously offered a gift certificate for 1 month of free service, a $29.99 value. The contest will end on July 15th at midnight CST, when the winner will be picked at random.

HOW TO ENTER:

Primary Entry: Go to Care4hire.com to check out what they do. Let me know which service would be most useful to you and why.

*This entry is mandatory to allow additional entries!

Additional Entries (be sure to leave a comment for each entry):

• Subscribe & Follow my blog via email
• Follow me on Twitter and Tweet about this giveaway (remember to use @karmelpub when tweeting)
• Follow Care4hire.com on Twitter and Tweet about this giveaway
• Blog about this giveaway and provide a link back to here
• Grab our button and place on your blog

GOOD LUCK!

By The Book: Caring For MY Kids

REVIEW:

I was sitting in the publisher’s office, nervously wading through the questions. Six hours from home, away for the third day, and my cell phone starts to ring. I check the ID. “I’m sorry, I need to take this. It’s home.”

“Dance clothes? Yes, it’s in the book. Directions to class? In there, too. And YES you have to wait for her. Check the DAILY ROUTINE Section.”

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I had just put my feet into the hot, swirling bath. I had waited for a long time for this pedicure and not much was going to spoil it, except a phone call from my sitter. Thinking the worst, I answer the call.

“How do you get the DVD player to work? Remember, it’s in the book. Look under HOUSEHOLD ODDS AND ENDS.”

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I had fifteen minutes before our big date. In those fifteen minutes, I had to pull up my hair, throw on some make-up and leave notes for the sitter. “One down,” I thought. “I finished updating the book yesterday. Now on to hair and make-up.”

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Some days it seems like I’m the only one who knows what’s going on with my kids. Don’t get me wrong. I love them beyond all reason, but 24/7 for 365 days a year? I don’t know that even Mother Theresa could do that! I need that time away. And sometimes I’m working outside the home and just can’t be reached. So where is that “Lost Manual” that never came with our kids the day they were born?

I finally found it! By The Book: Caring for MY Kids is the instruction book that YOU fill out about YOUR kids. It has EVERYTHING. Fill out all the information about your kids and you won’t need to be bothered for a thing. It’s win-win for you, the caregiver and the kids! The book is divided into five sections and takes only minutes to fill out. There is a place for the kids’ routines, school information, important phone numbers, household rules and whatnot, emergency contact and procedures and even a place to organize all of your sitter information. My most used section is the Sitter Notes. Every time I use a sitter, I pull out a page from sitter notes. The nice thing is she knows exactly what to look for when she lets herself and the kids into the house.

This book has made organizing my kids’ information a snap. Now I can do what I need to do without worrying about leaving the sitter or significant other all the information they need. After all, it’s in the book!


GIVEAWAY:

We are giving away an eBook of By The Book: Caring For MY Kids to TWO lucky winners, chosen at random. The contest will end at midnight on June 17, 2009.

HOW TO ENTER:

Primary Entry: Go to http://bythebookkids.com/insidethebook.aspx to view the different sections of the book, then come back here and tell me what part of By The Book would be most useful to you and why.

*This entry is mandatory to allow additional entries!

Additional Entries (be sure to leave a comment for each entry):

• Subscribe & Follow my blog via email = ONE ENTRY
• Follow me on Twitter and Tweet about this giveaway = ONE ENTRY (remember to use @karmelpub when tweeting)
• Blog about this giveaway and provide a link back to here = ONE ENTRY
• Grab our button and place on your blog = ONE ENTRY

GOOD LUCK!

I Need a Wife, I Mean a Nanny!

Let me tell you from personal experience, having a full-time nanny was AWESOME! Honestly, it was like having my own wife!

So if you’re trying to decide whether a nanny is the way to go, or if you have already decided and now need to start searching, let me give you the benefit of what I’ve learned. There are a few key things to keep in mind

1. The nanny will be in your home, all day, with your kids and your things, while you are gone. I know you know this, but have you REALLY thought about it?
2. She will know things about your kids and see things your babies do BEFORE YOU.
3. You MUST have a back-up plan in case she is sick at the last minute. This is VERY important, and I should know, because I never had a back-up plan!
4. She can make your life 100% easier if you hire the right person and agree completely on her duties.
   

So, you still want to hire a nanny, right? There are many local and on-line services to help you with this. They are wonderful, because they do all the background screening and initial interviews. And they will only pair you up with nannies that fit your profile. However, they can be quite costly.

So if you go at it on your own, here are a couple of suggestions. Make sure you watch them interact with your kids. Always, always, always do background checks on them. This includes a county, state and national criminal check, driving record and a check on the Child Abuse and Neglect Database. You can probably do these online or even through a detective agency.

In By The Book: Caring For MY Kids, we discuss hiring a nanny in a bit more detail. Also, there are outlines for a nanny application, interview sheet, and even a nanny agreement. While the agreement is not a legally binding contract, it is very specific on what your nanny’s duties will be and will not be. It also outlines pay structure, holidays, vacations, sick days, hours, etc. Make this as detailed as possible.

Good luck on your journey to find the perfect nanny!

Karen