Tuesday Tidbit- Different Dream Parenting

Good morning, dear readers. Or is it? If your house is anything like mine, sometimes the morning routine can be a challenge. Today was no exception. Not yet a tween and already we're having to squash some real attitude. That attitude, coupled with the temper tantrum of a young child, can be quite fierce.    This morning it included door slamming (for which said door will be removed by evening time), yelling, and some mean spirited insults. I didn't think we would get to this until we hit the teenage years. Heaven help me!

For some, every single morning is different than they dreamed it would be. Parenting a special needs child presents its own unique challenges. Where I sometimes wish my little Zs would simply be quiet, somewhere, there is a mom (special needs or not) wishing they could hear just one or two words from their child. Or when I'm tired of doing something and I think,"They're old enough! They should be doing this themselves by now!, there is a parent who has been and will continue to do every little thing for their precious one. 


Jolene Philo, author of Different Dream Parenting, searched for ways to manage her own experience with son Allen. The big realization for her- she wasn't alone. Twelve to fifteen percent of children born in the US will spend time in the neo-natal intensive care unit (according to the March of Dimes). That's a lot of babies... and a lot of parents. As that parent, it's overwhelming and the repeating question is,"What now?"


With over 25 years experience as an educator and parent of a special needs child, Jolene has written not only about her experience, but compiled some practical resources and aids for the parents. She's done a lot of the thinking for them, guiding through various difficult situations. As well, she centers in on her faith as her mainstay in living her journey with Allen. It's a book full of wisdom, practical advice, faith and comfort. It can be found here on Amazon. Her website: http://www.differentdream.com/ She writes a beautiful blog and addresses not just life with the special needs child, but marriage and siblings and, well LIFE!


This may not be you or your journey. But I'll bet you have someone in your circle who's walking this journey now. Check it out for them.


Yours, choosing to focus on the JOY of the journey,


Melissa

A Different Dream For My Child

I've always said it's hard enough to raise a child in this world when everything is right with them. Add any kind of complication and it can be overwhelming. I have the deepest respect for parents of children with special needs. It's a completely different level of parenting. I have several friends with special needs children and it has been no picnic for them.

One day I summoned the courage to ask a girlfriend what it was like. She said," To summarize something I read once, it's like getting on a plane and going to Italy. You've planned the trip. You've read about Italy. You know all the sights you are going to see and the things you want to experience. And you're so excited. You can hardly wait! But when the plane lands, the steward announces,'Welcome to Holland!' (She was paraphrasing the linked essay- TOTALLY worth the read!) And while Holland is not Italy, there are beautiful things in Holland that you will never experience in Italy."

This week I've been looking through a book called A Different Dream For My Child. Written by Jolene Philo, it's a collection of meditations for parents of critically or chronically ill children. It's words of encouragement, her personal stories, Bible scripture and some very honest and candid experiences. Sometimes, a parent needs to know they're not alone. That they're not the only one in Holland. And this collection does just that. Thoughtful, inspiring, comforting, this book is like rain in the desert for parents of special needs children.

We have one copy to give away. Simply leave a comment on our site and you qualify. We'll choose a winner by January 25th. Like our facebook page and let us know in another comment, and that enters you twice!

Yours, contemplating Holland,

Melissa

Jolene Philo is the parent of a son with special needs, taught kids with learning disabilities for 25 years, and served as director of assimilation and discipleship at her church for 4 years. Her book, A Different Dream for My Child: Meditations for Parents of Critically and Chronically Ill Children was released by Discovery House Publishers in 2009. She is currently working on a new book, Different Dream Parenting: Raising a Child with Special Needs. She blogs about special needs at http://www.differentdream.com/ and about daily life at http://www.jolenephilo.com/.