A long time ago, I read an Ann Landers (or maybe Dear Abby, who knows?) about the “correct” way to count calories, and what doesn’t count. Over the years, my sisters and I have altered and perfected these rules, and now I am sharing them with you.
- If you eat standing up, the calories fall down to your feet and come out when you walk.
- If you eat in the dark, the calories cannot find your butt (or hips, or stomach), so they escape from the food before they get into your mouth.
- There are no calories if you eat off of somebody else’s plate. (This is why I make my husband get dessert, so I can eat a few bites or more off HIS plate.)
- Breaking a cookie, brownie, cupcake, or anything else in half, no matter how many times, will allow the calories to escape.
- If you are blissfully ignorant about the fat and calories of a particular dish or food, it can be whatever you want it to be. (This one is my favorite!
So there you have it. Now, I guess I should warn you that I am not a nutritionist or expert in the field of dieting, so SOME facts may be a BIT off. And also, these rules MAY not result in any weight loss!
What are your rules?
Karen
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