Monday Madness... Truly, it is!

T minus 40 and 3/4 hours and counting!

School starts on Wednesday morning. I know you've heard me say this before a LOT of posts...

I DO love my children, I really do. With all my lifeblood. With every ounce and fiber of my being.But the time has come.

I've never understood these women who say that being with their children 24/7 is absolutely glorious and wonderful and they would not trade ONE.SINGLE.MINUTE of it for anything.

Honestly? Are they just absolutely CRACKED? Did I miss something while I was standing in the motherhood line? Because I can think of quite a few minutes.

Like the ones that make me pull over to the side of the road, put the car in park, turn off the engine, pull out a magazine and say,"When you all can get it together back there and stop your foolishness, I will turn the car back on and we will go."

Or the ones where you know your child is coming 5 blocks away because they are THAT loud.

Or when they have a total meltdown in public because you won't give them what they want.

Or when they tell your business to the entire PTO (PTA).

Yes, there are many, many minutes I would NOT trade, but at this point in summer vacation, I'm ready for a little quiet. Can I get a witness out there?????

Yours, warming up my version of The Hallelujah Chorus for Wednesday morning,

Melissa

Before you leave you brush your teeth with a bottle of What?!

Good Morning Dear Readers!

I have this wonderful high school classmate recently reconnected through facebook friend who is an amazing blogger. I just HAD to share this recent post with you from her site: Fluid Pudding. If you have elementary age kids especially, you definitely need to read this. :-)

Before you leave you brush your teeth with a bottle of What?!

Yours, wishing you a Happy, Jack-free Monday,

Melissa

Monday Madness

It's Monday Madness around here. When Karen and I first started The Caregiver Organizer, our situations were quite reversed. I worked part-time. It was fairly minimal part-time. My children were toddlers and required much more in-home care, so I was with them A LOT. Karen worked full-time and had a full-time nanny. Fast forward five years- I'm working two part-time jobs (which equals full time with no benefits) and hiring sitters and Karen is the one mostly at home, but WORKING as the Chief of Operations for Karmel Publishing.

Monday for me, for the next eight weeks looks like this:

5:45 AM - run

7:00 get the kids up and moving

8:45 drop the kids off at school

9-3 work

4:00 kids come home- snack and homework

4:30 I leave for work

5:30-9:30- teach my night course

10:15 make it home and hopefully be in bed by 11.

Which is why it's more important than ever for me to keep my caregivers organized. One wrong move and things could start coming unhinged. Thankfully, my children are at an age where the instructions are somewhat less detailed. Instead of saying things like,"Make sure you cut the large grapes in half and stay with him while he is eating because he tends to chipmunk his food,", it looks a little more like:

- text me when you have the kids

-snack

-homework

-20 minutes of reading

- piano practice

- no media until after dinner

-and about five more item.... seriously!

So I'm glad I'm keeping it all in one place. I don't even want to think about what it's going to look like when my parents begin requiring help. I don't mean that as a complaint, just a wondering of how I will manage it all. Guess that's why I'm starting early with the organizer for my parents. I'm getting them a copy this week.

Yours, knowing that there's nothing like planning ahead,

Melissa

Tuesday Tidbit-We do for our kids, why not ourselves?

So to echo Karen's thoughts yesterday, it struck me as odd that when I'm at the doctor with my child, I have absolutely no problem speaking up for them. I am their advocate and they are my charge. Or to say it a little more picturesquely, Mama Bear is in the room and ain't nobody movin' on 'til Mama Bear is satisfied that all of the issues have been addressed.

So why is it that when I go to the doc for myself I can turn into Little Miss Muffet? Seriously. It must be the editor inside me saying,"Now Melissa. Don't be silly. They'll think you're a hypochondriac. You're just over reacting. Don't be such a drama queen!" To the extent that remember that blood test I was getting about a month ago? Well, my doctor had added on another test because I mentioned something and since it had not acted up for a month or so, I promptly scratched that test off the list.

And now, after Karen's experience, I'm thinking that may not have been the best course of action. Hmmmmmmmm.....

If I can speak up for my kids, I can speak up for myself. I'm finding ways to do it more often, and politely, but I must remember to not stand there and just 1.) accept what I'm being fed and 2.) smile and nod when I don't agree. Afterall, I'm just a big kid. So I should have no problem speaking up for myself.

Yours, wondering how I will speak up and still keep it filtered.....

Melissa

The Unexpected

One of my closest lifelong friends is preparing to adopt. It's been a huge decision for her and her husband. There's a lot of hoops to jump through, and nothing is guaranteed. Last night, she was over for a gathering of friends, and she began asking so many questions about raising kids and parenting and what it's like..

"The best that I can tell you is this," I said." It's 75% really, really hard work. And some days you don't know top from bottom. But the other 25% is so incredibly sweet, that it makes the other melt away. And it's usually those moments out of the blue..."

Like yesterday, when I was in the car with Z1. He was being such a gem- I altered his schedule and it required him to run to work with me and he just grabbed a book and said,"Okay." I was driving and said,"Son, what did I do to get so lucky to have a boy like you?"

Without missing a beat he said,"You were just being you, Mom. And that's enough."

I think he's golden for a while. :-)

Yours, reveling in the unexpected,

Melissa

Wha?Wha??

Monday, Monday. . . .

Karen's away for a little bit, and I'm trying desperately to fill her shoes. you can see that I'm not quite as diligent as she is. She's so stinking good at the blog thing, and I'm just, well, not. I do try, but I'm not Karen. I own it. I accept it. (And I wear it with flair!)

So my children have been up to their usual shenanigans (don't you just love that word? Say it a few times. . .) These are the things I have overheard or been asked lately that made me go,"Wha?Wha?"

Things like:

Z1: Mom? When do I get to get tattoos across my chest?

Me: You don't, son. Period.

Z1: Well, Pappy has them. How did he get them?

Me: He was in the Navy, love. (Pappy has a mermaid on a rock on his chest).

Z1: I know, but I want to make a mermaid dance like that, too!

OR:

Z1: Hey Mom, I've decided that when I get into fifth grade, I'm going to get a bull ring put through my nose...

(I couldn't decided if I should say,"Over my cold, dead body" or just let that one lie. )

OR:

Z2 to Z1: Hey, Z1- remember that time you ate bird poop?

(What the heck??)

Yours, giggling at the thoughts of my two little hooligans,

Melissa

Tuesday Tidbit- Easy Recipe for Tonight

It's Tuesday, and the the Tuesday before one of my very, very, very most favorite weekends of the year. While most people will be traveling over the Memorial Day Weekend, I will be holing up with about 25 other song writers at a retreat center writing my fingers to the bone and soaking up every single drop of creative goodness. It's my songwriting New Year. This weekend is completely sacred to me as a songwriter, but that's another blog post entirely.

So to keep things simple around here, I plan meals accordingly. Nothing too fancy this week, because I have a million other things to get done. Here is one recipe (found in the Kraft Cooking Magazine) that I have used that the kids LOVE and it's quick and easy. (Warning: probably NOT Weight Watcher friendly. Sorry, Karen). Here's what you need:

Chicken Italiano Skillet

2 chicken breast, cooked and diced

1 can diced tomatoes, with Italian seasonings, undrained

1 clove garlic

1 green pepper

1 cup of water

1 box Kraft Mac and Cheese dinner (Yeah, totally NOT WW friendly!)

Cook and dice the chicken. Put the chicken back in the skillet and add the green pepper (and onion, if you desire). Stir in the tomatoes, water and uncooked macaroni. (I also like to add fresh basil here). Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and cover. Simmer 10 minutes or until noodles are tender. Stir in the Cheese Sauce until blended.

EASY PEASY! Enjoy!

Melissa

Friday Funny- In the Spirit of the Children's Medicine Recall

Have you seen the news lately? There's been a huge recall for some over the counter cold medicine for children. Something like 40 different products. Reminds me of the time my son, Z1 overdosed on Benadryl. NOT good.

I had been adamant with my husband about keeping the cough syrup and such put away because it had a flavor the kids liked. They were only 2 and 4, so really, no understanding of what medicine could do if you took too much. I was gone that morning and came home and found the bottle of Benadryl with a loose cap on the sink in the kids' bathroom. I asked my husband what it was doing there and he said he had given Z1 some for allergies that morning. After a conversation and notice that a LOT of the medicine had been used, I went to find my son. Here's what Benadryl does to a four year old when he has too much of it at one in the afternoon:

1. Makes him climb up on the table and jump off.

2. Makes him catch imaginary butterflies (I'm NOT kidding!).

3. Makes him giggle endlessly and sing VERY loud.

4. Makes him run circles around the house.

5. Keeps him awake WELL past 11 pm.

Obviously, we went NO WHERE that day, because having a four year old who is on a Benadryl induced high is not something you want to take to the graduation party we were supposed to be at that day. And this is the reason why, even though they are now 7 and 9, I STILL keep all the meds up and put away.

Yours, hoping SOMEONE got a giggle out of this, because it was a long time before WE did,

Melissa

Friday Funny- How to Show Your Kids What Policemen Do

I really do try hard to be a good parent.  Let me just make that clear upfront. I obey the law, I feed them healthy foods, I put them to bed at the same time every night, read them stories, hug them every chance I get, help them with their homework . . . you know, all those things that help set them up for a successful adulthood. However, sometimes life doesn't go as planned.

Last Saturday night, I threw my husband a small 40th birthday party. He had asked for a party with HIS closest friends. Sure, no problem. I did want to make it a special night, though, so I had a few musician friends come over and we were doing some tunes outside. Had a few tiki torches lit and some appetizer and drinks set out. A nice atmosphere. But let me back up a moment.

Earlier in the week, a friend of mine who is the wife of hubby's best friend, was helping me plan through the party. And she said,"Oh, you know, sparklers might be a fun touch to the birthday cake." And being the girl that I am, I said,"Yeah. I'll call Brad's friend and see if he will pick some up for me on his way to the party." The nearest fireworks stand is about 20 minutes from my house in the opposite direction of everything else. So it only made sense to call Hubby's Friend who was coming in from that way.

Now let me just say something about Hubby's Friend. This man LOVES fireworks. I don't mean Roman Candles and Spray Fountains, I'm talking heavy duty artillery. This man supports the Chinese Economy. Seriously. They could have a day in his honor considering how much fireworks he buys for his Fourth of July Party every year. So when I called him, he seemed a little incensed that I would ask him to bring sparklers. After a friendly chiding, he said he would bring something a little more "suitable". 

Fast forward to the party night. I am walking out with the cake, full of forty candles, and everyone is singing happy birthday. Right on cue, Hubby's Friend starts to set off the fireworks. BOOM! . . .  BA-BOOM!   One right after the other. Turns out he brought a 68 gun salute. Think tubes about two feet high tossing up municipal style fireworks. It was perfection.

Now, I had sent my children over to the neighbor's house for the evening. They were watching from the neighbor's deck with the neighbor kids and the sitter. All was beautiful and wonderful. Everyone was oohing and ahhing and finally the fireworks subsided. We all cheered and Two of Hubby's Friends began to clear the fireworks away. And that's when the police came swarming down the hill from both sides of the house. No kidding. 

We were so busted. I had no idea fireworks were illegal in my area. I guess that would be why the fireworks stands are on the other side of the county line. (Duh!) So as the police man kindly shines his flashlight at me and asks me if I am the homeowner, I suddenly hear a familiar voice, that of Z2, pierce through the darkness.

"HIIIIIIIIIII MOOOM! LOOOOOVED the FIREWOOOOOORKS! CAN WE SEEEE SOMME MOOOOOORE?"

Yep. Right there as the police are asking us all for ID.  Well, you know what they say. It's just not a party until the cops show up. Just didn't know it would take fireworks to get them here.  :-)

Yours, sure that I will check all applicable party laws next time,

M

Thursday Thoughts-Free Time

So I've been encountering this, shall we say, phenomenon, lately.  Basking in the thought of my children returning to school, my husband looks at me and says,"So honey, what ARE you going to do with all of that FREE time?"

The same thing happened to a girlfriend of mine. And then to Karen. 

Do any of those Y Chromosome People understand that that is a PERFECT way to get an instant Personal Safety Day?

Because, you know, when the kids aren't around, I just lay about the house, twiddling my thumbs, longing for a nose to wipe, a meal to clean up after, yearning to complete the laundry.

Never mind that I actually have paying jobs. But I guess those don't count because, you know, I'm at home most of the day.

So today, I went to my tiny little office  where I teach. It's a shared office, an  a colleague of mine, whom I simply adore, was already there. We began talking and he looked at me with his mischievous eyes and sly grin and said,"So Melissa, now that the kids are back in school, what are you going to do with all your FREE time?!" 

I just looked at him and said,"Tell me, PLEASE tell me you did not say that to your beautiful wife on the first day of school."

"ARE YA KIDDIN' ME?!" he replied. "Melissa, I turned 50 this summer, and there are a few things I've learned you just don't say to your wife. And THAT is definitely one of them."

Now you know why I adore him. I just hope that I don't have to wait for my darling hubby to turn 50 before he learns that lesson. Otherwise, it might be a long decade with a lot of personal safety days.

Yours, burning all my FREE TIME,

Melissa

Tuesday Debate- To spank or not to spank?

So we are working with discipline issues. Who isn't? Here in the B household, we have come to the age where discussion is seemingly having an effect. (Notice the use of the word "seemingly". I'm not completely convinced yet, but willing to give it a try). We use a lot of different tactics, from revoking privileges to extra chores (I LOVE child labor, because I hate scrubbing floors, windows and toilets!). These punishments are usually given for breaking rules.

We have, particularly when they were much younger, used spanking occasionally.  I know- some of you are already horrified. Our method is the "swat method". . .  there is some discussion and then one or two swats, depending on the level of defiance. And yes, this was reserved for absolute defiance.

Case in point: When Z1 was 2, we lived in the city. We always told him,"DO NOT. RUN OUT. INTO THE ALLEY." Those cars would zip by so fast, I knew they would never see his little body in time. So one day, hubby and I got him out of the car and stood him on his little legs. He looked right at me, got that "I'm gonna be a stinker" glimmer in his eye, and ran right for the alley. Hubby ran right after him, promptly told him no and landed a swat right on his bottom. And you know what? He never did it again. I'm not saying that swat was the absolute end all answer for that situation, but for that particular thing, it worked. 

  Have you ever spanked your child? Why or why not? What's the reasoning and the goal behind it? I'd like to hear from a myriad of parents to see what the consensus is. . .

  Yours, considering this whole spanking thing,

Melissa

Tuesday Debate-Money and Children. . . AGAIN?!

Okay, I know I've been on a rant lately. First-Octomom (HHuuuuwweeeehhhhhh- Yes, that's me retching, again. I can't say her name without the reflex of throwing up.) Then last week it was Debbie Rowe, cutting another deal to stay out of her biological children's lives. 

But this one just had me cracking up. Kate Gosselein was interviewing this morning with Meredith Viera on the TODAY show. She was talking about how her brother, with whom she was so close, was telling his side of the story and using her children to make money. "And believe me," she said,"It's a business. He's making a lot of money."

Uhhhhh. . . and you, Ms. Gosselein, are doing what? 

So the topic of today is:

 Do you think the eight Gosselein Children are being exploited and if so, what do you think the punishment should be? 

I await your creative responses!

Melissa

Tuesday Debate-Selling Children?

Last Tuesday I posted about Octomom. Yes, I am still wretching over it.  Just when I thought it was safe, we hear about Debbie Rowe and the Jackson children.  

What does it mean when a woman has children, gives their father complete legal custody for a particular sum of money, all the while agreeing to never be in contact with those children again? I'm not her, so I can't speak for what her thought process or experience was. Who knows, she could have gotten shafted in the whole deal- promised one thing and delivered another. 

But then, the father dies and she comes back and gets the SAME DEAL ALL OVER AGAIN. 

What is the deal with money for children these days??????

How is this legal? Isn't it the same thing as selling the kids?

What do you think? Is it just me?

Melissa

Tuesday Debate- This Just P#!@%s Me OFF!

Okay, this just flat out pisses me off. Seriously, it makes me want to vomit.

Octomom just inked a Reality TV Deal. Somebody tell me she wasn't in it for the money. And I've got a bridge, or two, or eight, to sell you. Honestly. I could be wrong, but it certainly seems as if all of these kids were conceived and birthed for the sole purpose of satisfying this chick's need for attention and fame.  

Excuse me while I hang my head in the porcelain bowl. I'm thinking right now that Family Services should consider stepping in. Got an opinion? Let's chat.

Yours, 

Melissa

Thursday Thoughts

How Long Is Summer?

Oh my word. We have hit that part of summer where the some of us start wondering HOW MANY MORE DAYS UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS?!?!?!?  

The newness of no schedule has worn off and siblings are starting to really annoy each other. I can't tell you how many days they have been grounded from media. Every words exchanged between them has an edge to it. Sigh. I think we need a visual aid here.

So I'm off to the store to buy a jar and a ton of marbles. For every kind, thoughtful act- even simple obedience counts- you earn a marble. For every mean, sassy, hurtful, careless act/word, I'm taking one out. When the jar is full, we'll do something fun and wonderful.

I wonder how long it is going to take to fill the jar. I wonder if that's possible before school starts!  I'll keep you posted. 

Yours, knowing that summer, for the kids, is really only another five weeks, which really isn't that long,

Melissa

Tuesday Debate- Other People's Kids

Tuesday Debate - Other People's Kids

So yesterday afternoon I took my kids to the pool. It's a lovely pool, complete with the slide, play house and lazy river (my fav). My daughter and I were getting out of the lazy river and trying to manage the big inner tube in the midst of a bunch of other inner tubes and people entering the river. It was a mess ! (Seriously- we can put a man on the moon, but have yet to design underwear that stays put and a separate entrance and exit for the Lazy River? C'mon!) Anyway, another young girl who was wanting to get in put both of her hands on my daughter's tube  and pushed her backwards. I was standing right behind Z1 so she didn't go far. But before I could stop myself, I looked her right in the eye and very sternly said."There is NO need to push. (Insert slight head bob here). The words "excuse me" work in all fifty states in this great nation."  Her jaw dropped open and stunned she backed off and said,"Excuse me. . . " and we politely moved over and helped her get in the river.

Now here's the debate. . . when another child does something to your child, do you say something? Let it go? Ignore it and move on? Do you address her parents (which were no where to be seen)?  Was I completely out of line?

Let the comments begin!

Melissa

Tuesday Debate- It's Time for Summer Camp!

I don't know about you, but by about mid-February, the area I live in starts planning for and advertising- SUMMER CAMP. I'm not even remotely close to being thawed from Winter's Chill, and they want to know what I'm going to do with my kid every day for those precious 11 weeks.  For us, summer is freedom to do whatever, whenever, however and with whomever we choose.  If we want to go to camp, so be it. But I cannot process all of that in the middle of February. There are, however, some parents who have their child's summer planned by the end of March. Wow! I marvel at their organizational skills.  But camp every week? 

So here's the debate: Summer camp- how much is too much? What are you doing with your kids for the summer?

Let the comments begin!

Melissa

Thursday Thoughts

I tend to get on edge with my kids when the pressure is on.  My tone of voice gets short, I'm more prone to say,"What do you need?!?!?" instead of "Yes, my love, can Mommy help you with that?" 

After endless pecking (because you know, raising children is a whole lot like being pecked to death by chickens), the buildup finally reaches critical mass. And then I blow. I yell. Their eyes get huge and they take a step back. 

I wonder what would happen if I hugged them every time I wanted to yell?

They would probably look at me and say, Gee, Mom, you sure are huggy today. What's up with THAT?!?!?"

Maybe I'll try it. I'll make it my research project and report my findings in a week or two. Try it with me?

Melissa

Mommy's Personal Safety Day

       I love being a mommy. I never intended on being a mommy, but sometimes, these things happen. (It was all planned, but I never thought I would it plan that way.) I love being married, too. All in all, I have a pretty good life- not much worth complaining about.

Occasionally, though, I have what I like to label as a "Personal Safety Day". I don't know what happens to me, but something kinda turns inside me and I feel like it is probably to the benefit of every one's personal safety that I remove myself from civilized society. (Truth: I KNOW what's happening to me, I just don't like to blame it on that. I asked my doc about it and he said,"Welcome to the club." OY.) Basically, on a "Personal Safety Day", I'm okay unless someone talks to me. And since living with three other people generally requires some sort of interaction, someone talking to me is inevitable. And I do my best to be pleasant, but invariably, something will happen that just hits the trigger and before I can stop, I say something to the effect of," For your own personal safety, it is probably a good idea to give me a little space."  So you can see why I would  feel it is necessary to remove myself from society (civilized and otherwise) on those days.   

I realized I was having one yesterday when I finally said to my husband,"You know, you have really irritated me like, FOUR TIMES in the last twenty minutes. I think I just want to throw something at you."

He looks at me and says,"Hmmmm . . .  having a "Personal Safety Day" over there?"

Yep.

News travels fast in the B household. "Kiiiiiiidddds!!!!" he calls out. They flock to the bathroom (where I am still in the tub just wanting to take a bath in peace). 

"Mommy is having a "Personal Safety Day," he informs them.

"Uh-oh," says my boy. "You know what that means. . . " he says, looking at his sister.

"Yep," she says. "We had better get to our rooms for our own personal safety." And they scamper off, laughing all the way down the hall.

The good news is it usually passes within a day.  And that I'm not in denial over it. After all, admission is the first part of the process of healing. Oh yeah, I own it. I know it.  But at least I've trained them to take cover.

Yours, thankful it is passing,

Melissa