Thursday Thoughts- Some Missyology

Just think you should know that I, Melissa Bishop, am garbage disposal incident free for FIFTEEN days now. Unless you count the spoon that bit it the other night. But since I didn't have to get out my pipe wrench to fix the stinkin' disposal, I'm saying it doesn't count. Welcome to the world of Missyology.

In the world of Missyology there are things like "Personal Safety Days" and "I Love Me" files for my "Zero Days". In the world of Missyology, I get to justify food groups by their colors. One of my grad school friends taught me this one. It's pretty cool and goes something like this. An Oreo cookie is from the Black and White Food Group. When eaten with a glass of white milk, they cancel each other out. So no calories, no fat no anything but sheer enjoyment. Let's try another one. . .Peanut M&M's- now there's a food group! Seriously- a rainbow of colors, it can go with anything. When eaten with a Reese's Peanut Butter Easter Egg, you can say they are both of the Yellow Food Group since their wrappers are the same bright yellow. Wash it down with a Mountain Dew and BINGO! It's a trifecta. See? I knew you would like it. (Note: It worked well about 15 years ago, but haven't tried that particular combination since the blood sugar craziness kicked in. It's not "advisable" at this point).

In the world of Missyology, I get to wear a diamond tiara on my special days like my birthday or Mother's Day or Christmas or ANY DAY MY LOVELY FAMILY (esp MY DH) NEEDS TO BE REMINDED WHO IS THE QUEEN. I have not needed to wear it to work yet, but have felt the need to tell my classroom on ocassion, when they feel it is their turn to tell me how to teach, " I have a degree. You. Do. Not. When you attain the same level of education, you may go out and get your own job and have your own little kingdom. But when you are in this classroom, it is my kingdom and I am the Queen which means I make the rules. Should you insist on rebelling, I will simply subtract points from your final grade." Mind you, I say it in a gentle, loving tone with a smile on my face, nodding up and down the entire time. And the mood in the classroom shifts dramatically. That's a wonderful little speech taught to me by an incredible writing friend of mine. Feel free to tuck it into your own set of tried and true responses.

Yes, I believe Mary Englebreight said it best:"It's great to be Queen!"

Yours, reveling in Missyology,

Melissa

PS- No, really, don't call me Missy. Unless you've known me THAT long. And that's a long, long, LONG time!

Mommy's Personal Safety Day

       I love being a mommy. I never intended on being a mommy, but sometimes, these things happen. (It was all planned, but I never thought I would it plan that way.) I love being married, too. All in all, I have a pretty good life- not much worth complaining about.

Occasionally, though, I have what I like to label as a "Personal Safety Day". I don't know what happens to me, but something kinda turns inside me and I feel like it is probably to the benefit of every one's personal safety that I remove myself from civilized society. (Truth: I KNOW what's happening to me, I just don't like to blame it on that. I asked my doc about it and he said,"Welcome to the club." OY.) Basically, on a "Personal Safety Day", I'm okay unless someone talks to me. And since living with three other people generally requires some sort of interaction, someone talking to me is inevitable. And I do my best to be pleasant, but invariably, something will happen that just hits the trigger and before I can stop, I say something to the effect of," For your own personal safety, it is probably a good idea to give me a little space."  So you can see why I would  feel it is necessary to remove myself from society (civilized and otherwise) on those days.   

I realized I was having one yesterday when I finally said to my husband,"You know, you have really irritated me like, FOUR TIMES in the last twenty minutes. I think I just want to throw something at you."

He looks at me and says,"Hmmmm . . .  having a "Personal Safety Day" over there?"

Yep.

News travels fast in the B household. "Kiiiiiiidddds!!!!" he calls out. They flock to the bathroom (where I am still in the tub just wanting to take a bath in peace). 

"Mommy is having a "Personal Safety Day," he informs them.

"Uh-oh," says my boy. "You know what that means. . . " he says, looking at his sister.

"Yep," she says. "We had better get to our rooms for our own personal safety." And they scamper off, laughing all the way down the hall.

The good news is it usually passes within a day.  And that I'm not in denial over it. After all, admission is the first part of the process of healing. Oh yeah, I own it. I know it.  But at least I've trained them to take cover.

Yours, thankful it is passing,

Melissa