PARENT OR CHILD?

When did our parents become our children? How is it we find ourselves talking to them as though we are the parent and we know what’s best for them?

Sadly, this is the situation many of us are finding ourselves in. We don’t want it. We never asked for it. But here we are. And we’re suddenly making life decisions for our parents that we don’t want to make.

Who among us wants to see our parents as weak, child-like individuals? We want to remember them as the strong people we looked up to, even feared sometimes. Back when we were kids, we didn’t even think about talking back to our mom or dad, or punishment would be quick and severe. The words “Just wait until your dad comes home from work” would send us crying to our rooms in anticipation.

But now, we see our parents needing us as we once needed them. They need us to make the decisions for them that they cannot. To know what’s best for them, while preserving their dignity.

It’s hard for us and it’s hard for them. It sometimes can seem like an impossible situation. But we do the best we can. There are many, many resources out there: websites, groups, books, companies, etc. One just needs to look; the help is there.

(I often post articles about this very subject on our Facebook page if you want to “like” it!)

Here’s to being the parent and the child. It’s not easy, I know.

Karen

WARMS MY HEART…

When writing our second book, The Caregiver Organizer for MY Aging Parent, we did a lot of research into caregiving for older adults. (By the way, click HERE to purchase. Yes, shameless plug!) And even now, as a way to inform and enlighten people who “like” our Facebook page, I post articles about caregiving. (So click HERE to get to our FB page. You know, just in case you’d like to see what’s going on there and want to “like” us! Haha, another shameless plug? Yep!) Throughout this research for the book and for articles, I have come across SO MANY stories about elder abuse and caregivers who take advantage of their caregivees and patients.

So today I wanted to tell you about something I witnessed yesterday in a doctor’s building that warmed my heart.

An elderly woman with a walker was getting in the elevator with her obviously hired caregiver. (How do I know she was hired? It was just obvious. Uniform, different skin color, taking her to a doctor’s appointment. You know…) The caregiver was speaking very softly to her, then out of the blue, she gently swept the woman’s bangs to the side. Not that they were in her eyes, but more of a, “let’s make them pretty for the doctor” adjustment. As the elevator door opened, I heard the caregiver tell the woman that when they sit down, she has a story to tell her. She was so patient as she waited for the woman to turn to the left towards the doctor’s office. She didn’t try to hurry her. I wanted to keep those elevator doors open longer, but I almost felt like I was intruding. That simple gesture with the bangs and the way she spoke to her actually gave me a lump in my throat, and believe me, it takes a lot to choke me up. (Ask Melissa, I’m just not an emotional person!)

That is how a caregiver should be. That elderly woman, and her family, is so lucky to have found her. I haven’t stopped thinking of them since I saw them yesterday morning. I wish I had said something to her, the caregiver. I was in awe of how well she was taking care of her patient, whom I’m sure she didn’t view as a patient at all.

So to all the caregivers out there who do their jobs well, I take my hat off to you. And to the woman I saw yesterday. Bravo! Anyone who can get me choked up deserves a standing ovation!

Karen

SINGING NOTES OF HAPPINESS!

OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH,

OH. MY. GOSH!!!

IT’S DONE…OUR BOOK IS DONE!!!

A little behind schedule, yes, but our latest eBook, The Caregiver Organizer for MY Aging Parent is DONE!!!

The only thing left to do is get it on our website, which will hopefully be completed by the end of the week (you know how techy guys can be sometimes), and then it’s LIVE and FOR SALE!!!

Be sure to watch our Facebook page for a roll-out SALE soon.

We’re so, so proud of this book and can’t wait to share it with everyone.  From the first day of introducing our first book, The Caregiver Organizer for MY Child, people have been telling us this is exactly what they need for taking care of their parents.  We listened and here is the result.

In case you’re new here, it’s not a “how to” book.  The Caregiver Organizer is a way to organize all that information you know about your child or your parent in one convenient place.  So when you need to hire a caregiver to help you from time to time, all your information is in a clear and concise format, and you can relax, knowing your loved one is being taken care of the way you want.

So join us in our celebration!  Feel free to sing your own note of happiness for us!

Karen

IT’S ALL MAKING SENSE TO ME NOW.

So you know that Melissa and I have been working on The Caregiver Organizer For My Aging Parent book, due out any day now (yes, we’re getting closer, but yes, summer set us back a  bit!).  To be honest, this book has been a bit tougher for us because when we wrote our For My Child book, we could draw from personal experience, but neither of us, thankfully, has had to be a caregiver for a parent yet.

However, with the passing of my friend’s step mother this summer, I find myself somewhat in this role since my friend is 1000 miles away and I have always been considered part of the family anyway.  Her father needs somebody now, and I am more than willing and able to be there for him.

So without writing too many details, which I’m sure will be more to come in the coming months, I just want to tip my virtual hat to every caregiver out there, but especially those of you in the “sandwich” generation.  Taking care of your own family, plus taking care of your parents, or any aging family member, is a tougher role than I ever could have imagined.  I’m already exhausted, not to mention overwhelmed, looking at the tasks ahead, the guilt of knowing that I probably won’t do those tasks well enough, and the knowledge that I don’t even have the knowledge that I need.

This, my dear friends, is why we are writing this book.  Not to give you any advice, because obviously we are in no position to do so, but to help you organize information about your loved one so that you don’t have to do it all.  You can’t be there 24/7 for him or her, so when you need to have another caregiver there, all of your parent’s information will be organized in a manual, ready to go.

I’m extra motivated now to get this book finished, and we’ll let you know as soon as it’s ready to go.

So hang in there, Fellow Caregivers.  Help is on its way!

Karen