A Different Dream For My Child

I've always said it's hard enough to raise a child in this world when everything is right with them. Add any kind of complication and it can be overwhelming. I have the deepest respect for parents of children with special needs. It's a completely different level of parenting. I have several friends with special needs children and it has been no picnic for them.

One day I summoned the courage to ask a girlfriend what it was like. She said," To summarize something I read once, it's like getting on a plane and going to Italy. You've planned the trip. You've read about Italy. You know all the sights you are going to see and the things you want to experience. And you're so excited. You can hardly wait! But when the plane lands, the steward announces,'Welcome to Holland!' (She was paraphrasing the linked essay- TOTALLY worth the read!) And while Holland is not Italy, there are beautiful things in Holland that you will never experience in Italy."

This week I've been looking through a book called A Different Dream For My Child. Written by Jolene Philo, it's a collection of meditations for parents of critically or chronically ill children. It's words of encouragement, her personal stories, Bible scripture and some very honest and candid experiences. Sometimes, a parent needs to know they're not alone. That they're not the only one in Holland. And this collection does just that. Thoughtful, inspiring, comforting, this book is like rain in the desert for parents of special needs children.

We have one copy to give away. Simply leave a comment on our site and you qualify. We'll choose a winner by January 25th. Like our facebook page and let us know in another comment, and that enters you twice!

Yours, contemplating Holland,

Melissa

Jolene Philo is the parent of a son with special needs, taught kids with learning disabilities for 25 years, and served as director of assimilation and discipleship at her church for 4 years. Her book, A Different Dream for My Child: Meditations for Parents of Critically and Chronically Ill Children was released by Discovery House Publishers in 2009. She is currently working on a new book, Different Dream Parenting: Raising a Child with Special Needs. She blogs about special needs at http://www.differentdream.com/ and about daily life at http://www.jolenephilo.com/.

Friday Funny~ Out of the mouths of kids...

A few nights ago, we were all downstairs watching The Tooth Fairy. A pretty amusing movie, it casts The Rock as the Tooth Fairy. Over breakfast, my son expounded upon the lessons he learned while watching the movie.

" You shouldn't complain all the time when you have to do things. He needed to stop being so negative!" said my son. "And his girlfriend did the right thing.."

"What was that, son?" I asked.

"Well, when he screwed up and treated her wrong she did the best thing she could have done..." he paused, looking at his dad,"She DUMPED him!"

Coulda heard a pin drop!

The look on my husband's face was priceless.

Yours, still giggling, as I tend to do,

Melissa

TO ALL THE WEENIES IN ST. LOUIS…

A snow day yesterday? Really? We had what, MAYBE 3 inches? And I’m being generous here! It’s not that I don’t enjoy snow days, because on some level I do. The kids have a great time and we all relax and have fun. I just don’t understand the logic behind calling off school for 2-3 inches of snow. Which was cleared off the streets by the time the busses needed to take off and start picking up the kids. On paved roads. In suburban neighborhoods.

Here are some pictures I got off of one of the local news station’s website:

See, it wasn’t a huge storm with tons of accumulation. I could see some grass sticking up through the snow! Even my little street was clear! So Mr. Superintendent of my school district, what were you thinking when you were driving around at 5:00 yesterday morning wondering if you should close school or not? If we were in Minnesota, you would have been laughing at this winter weather! Maybe your car slipped once or twice, I don’t know. But next time, please don’t be such a weenie!

Karen

You HAVE To Ask

Good Mooorning! Yes, that's my happy voice. It's the first day of a new semester. I'm teaching my favorite class, seeing some of my favorite people (some of whom I have not seen in TOO long), we have the promise of snow and so far today, I'm getting things done AND I'm on time. HA! It's a good day, right?

So Friday I was saying that my father had shoulder replacement surgery. He did very, very well. They let him come home late Friday day. By Sunday morning, all was not well. His arm, chest and belly were swollen to 3 times its normal size and he was bruised all over his chest.

Long story short, Mom took him to the ER. A small blood vessel had broken loose and caused the swelling and bruising. The docs were nonchalant. "Very normal. Happens all the time."

Yeah- all the time in YOUR world.

We would have been much more prepared had someone TOLD us this might happen!

So once again, I reminded that when you or someone you love is going through medical stuff, or anything "heavy" for that matter, you HAVE TO ASK every question. Even if it seems silly. Or trivial. Or absurd. Just ask. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

Yours, checking on my Daddy every few hours,

Melissa

Friday Fun- Properly Looped

My father is a man of few words. So when he talks, I listen. But yesterday he was an absolute comic. But being properly looped, he tends to be. Not that I've ever seen him in an altered state, mind you. Come to think of it, although he does have beer or two now and then, I don't think I've ever seen him like I saw him yesterday.

Yesterday, my father went in for surgery. I thought he was having rotator cuff surgery, but apparently, there was no more cuff to be worked on so he had a shoulder replacement instead. It's about a 3 hour surgery, and there will be quite a bit of recovery time. I went to see him yesterday. I was waiting by the elevators with my mom and sister and lo and behold, two orderlies are wheeling him by on a gurney, taking him to his room. My father was instructing THEM which way to go.

"Yeah! Yeah! Just wheel me right down this hall!"

We knew it was him immediately and my sister and I called out,"Hi Dad!" He waved to us like he was the Grand Marshall of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

We took the elevator up to his room and waited for them to bring him in. As they're wheeling him into his room, he looks at us, points at me and say,"Hey! I've seen you before!"

Really? Yep, Dad. Yes you have. I couldn't help but laugh.

Nothing like seeing your father under the effects of anesthesia.

Happy Friday, dear readers!

Yours, still giggling,

Melissa

What I’ve Learned This Holiday Season…

This holiday season, I have learned three things.  First of all, I learned that as much as I like it when my husband shares things, I DO NOT like it when he shares his nasty ol’ cold with me.  Being sick over the holidays is NO FUN.  And he actually had the nerve to say, “How do you know you got it from me?”  Um, hello?  Really?  I got it three days after you, I have exactly the same symptoms as you, and oh yeah, I SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AS YOU.  Enough said.

The second thing I realized is that I am SOOOOO going to miss it when my kids stop believing in Santa Clause.  Having grown up Jewish and not having participated in the whole Santa experience (we were just told that of course there’s no such thing, but don’t spoil it for all those silly little friends of ours who believe or we’d be in BIG trouble), this has been such a magical experience, watching it through their eyes.  But they are 9 now, and I fear that this will be our last year.  Of course, I thought this last year, so you never know!

Lastly, I learned that as a mother, I must have done something right over the past 9 years with my boys.  No, really!  When they were finally allowed to wake us up (strict orders not before 7:00!), they ran down and opened Santa’s gifts, but before they would open any of the mounds (and I do mean mounds, thanks to Dad) of gifts from us under the tree, they insisted I open the gifts they made for me.  Even when I insisted they open theirs first, they refused until I opened mine.  I don’t think I was ever prouder of them than at that very moment.

I love my kids!

Happy New Year to you and your families!!!

Karen

Happy New Year! Made any resolutions? Broken any yet? It never takes me long. This year I decided to make resolutions that were a little more attainable. Here are the resolutions I will NOT be making, and the ones I am considering....

1. NOT: I will get supermodel skinny by swimsuit season in May.

BUT: Hmmmm.... maybe I'll work on ten pounds and sign up for another half marathon.

2. NOT: I will get comPLETEly organized to the enth degree, become a clone of the Clean Sweep organizer, Peter.

BUT: It's time, Melissa, to tackle that closet again. We made progress last year (yes, I can still walk in it relatively well!) and we will make even more progress this year.

3. NOT: I will speak fluent French by December.

BUT: I will actually look into buying Rosetta Stone instead of translating everything on Google Translator.

4.NOT: I will not be sarcastic, ever.

BUT: Hey! Why try to fix what's not broken?!?!?!

What I love about this time of year is that we all get a do over. And sometimes, we really do succeed. I actually am trying to make more attainable goals for myself. I find whenever I give myself a mandate, I simply rebel. That's quite the war within. (The voices inside my head get really, really loud. Not. Pretty.) My number one goal this year: to live my life a little more prepared.

Yes, this does require thinking ahead. It will require actually CHECKING my childrens' backpacks on Friday instead of Monday morning when they are supposed to be getting in the car. It will require actually looking at and acting upon those lists I chronically make for myself. But I'm truly tired of rushing, living life to the absolute, last minute deadline and finding it hard to enjoy myself because I'm thinking of all the things I have to get done before I can go to bed that I've been putting off because I always think I have so much more time than I do.

It's time, dear readers, it's time.

BTW- don't forget to update those organizer books. Now's the best time to do it!

Here's to 2011. May we live each moment enjoying as much of life as we can. May we all experience health, happiness, peace and contentment. And may we all reach at least ONE of our New Year's resolutions!

Yours, getting to work on taking down my decorations now,

Melissa