YOU REALLY, REALLY NEED TO KNOW YOUR NANNY!

Last week I gave you some pointers on hiring your perfect nanny. But there are 2 points I need to expand on: Look into the future and know the people around her. Let me explain.

Our first nanny was the perfect person for infant twins. The typical “grandmotherly” type of woman, although she really wasn’t all that old. She just had that personality of calm and warmth and love. We couldn’t have been happier with her. But as the boys grew more mobile, we found out that she was having a bit of trouble keeping up with them. And when they were about 14 months old, we moved into a 2-story house, which is when she had to admit to us that her knees just couldn’t take it. Running after them on one level was difficult enough, but two levels would be murder for her. She had to leave us.

So hiring somebody who may be perfect for one stage of your child’s life may be great for the moment, but you need to look beyond that. Try to find somebody who can grow with your child and be perfect for all those wonderful stages.

My next piece of advice is more difficult to do, but necessary. It’s not only important to know the person you are hiring, but also her family and friends. Obviously you can’t run background checks on everyone (although it would be great if you could!), but you should ask her questions about the people closest to her.

Here is a true story to illustrate why this is important. My third nanny, whom I’ll call Jane, had a male roommate. No big deal, he was just a friend (actually he was gay, so I really didn’t have a problem with it!). Because St. Louis can be a really small big city sometimes, I found out that he wore an ankle bracelet because he was on house arrest for something, but Jane didn’t know what. My mistake was not pushing her to find out, because when I finally did find out (through my own means), it turned out it was for inappropriate conduct with a minor. I FREAKED!!!

I immediately called the agency who helped me hire her to ask their advice. Here was my dilemma: I loved her as a nanny, but she showed extremely poor judgment in sharing an apartment with this individual without knowing all the facts. On their advice, I drafted a contract requiring her, among other things, to leave my house key with me every night (there was NO way I was letting her bring that to where he could get it) and she could not discuss my family or my children with him under any circumstances.

When I presented this to her the next day and told her what I had found out, she was (I was glad to see) horrified. She signed the contract, and to my delight, moved out into her own apartment that following weekend.

Now, I’m not naive enough to think we can know everyone in our nanny’s life, but a little knowledge can go a long way. You are inviting her to be in your home, so it’s okay to pry a little, be a little nosy, and ask a few questions about her surroundings. It’s your right and it’s your duty. And frankly, if she has a problem with it, maybe she has something to hide. I’m just saying…

Karen

I Need a Wife, I Mean a Nanny!

Let me tell you from personal experience, having a full-time nanny was AWESOME! Honestly, it was like having my own wife!

So if you’re trying to decide whether a nanny is the way to go, or if you have already decided and now need to start searching, let me give you the benefit of what I’ve learned. There are a few key things to keep in mind

1. The nanny will be in your home, all day, with your kids and your things, while you are gone. I know you know this, but have you REALLY thought about it?
2. She will know things about your kids and see things your babies do BEFORE YOU.
3. You MUST have a back-up plan in case she is sick at the last minute. This is VERY important, and I should know, because I never had a back-up plan!
4. She can make your life 100% easier if you hire the right person and agree completely on her duties.
   

So, you still want to hire a nanny, right? There are many local and on-line services to help you with this. They are wonderful, because they do all the background screening and initial interviews. And they will only pair you up with nannies that fit your profile. However, they can be quite costly.

So if you go at it on your own, here are a couple of suggestions. Make sure you watch them interact with your kids. Always, always, always do background checks on them. This includes a county, state and national criminal check, driving record and a check on the Child Abuse and Neglect Database. You can probably do these online or even through a detective agency.

In By The Book: Caring For MY Kids, we discuss hiring a nanny in a bit more detail. Also, there are outlines for a nanny application, interview sheet, and even a nanny agreement. While the agreement is not a legally binding contract, it is very specific on what your nanny’s duties will be and will not be. It also outlines pay structure, holidays, vacations, sick days, hours, etc. Make this as detailed as possible.

Good luck on your journey to find the perfect nanny!

Karen