WOO HOO! VACATION TIME!!!

Okay, faithful readers, Melissa and I are OFFICIALLY ON VACATION!!!  So you will not see any posts from us until Monday, August 8th, as we will be sunning ourselves on the beach with our families.  (Separate beaches, separate families!)

So let me just take a moment to thank you for reading our little blog here.  We love writing it for you.  If you have any suggestions on topics you’d like to see, let us know.  We’re open to anything (well, almost!).

Enjoy the next week or so.  I  know we will!

Karen

Thursday Thoughts- Go Ahead! Ask!

So after Tuesday's post, I've been trying to listen more, talk less and not sweat the small stuff (read: constant whining when they don't get their way, as is such the case as I'm typing this post. But I'm not sweating it. I've sent The Hub in to deal with the mouths).

As the school year is approaching, I am more and more aware of my children's ages and how much I need to be involved in their lives- beyond making sure they are getting their homework completed and staying out of trouble. Recently, I found a lecture I went to on "Why Good Kids Go Bad"- a lecture given by a criminal lawyer (Thank you, Parents as Teachers for this presentation!)

It becomes more important every year to fight this next objective:

CLUELESSNESS.

About what, you may ask? Know your child- their likes, dislikes, habits, hopes, dreams... they may be a insignificant as,"I hope I find a Disney Silly Band" to "I hope I become president some day." And while you can find out a lot about your kid, what about their friends? How well do you know their friends (and the friend's parents)? How much do your families have in common? What do the kids do when they are together? Especially at the friend's house?

You might hesitate to start poking around, thinking,"My kid's a good kid. He'll know what to do." You know, a lot of kids are really good kids that sometimes get curious. Or tempted. Or just really didn't realize what was happening before it was too late.

So ask questions. Don't be afraid. Their business is your business. That's why you're the parent, right? Don't hesitate to find out everything that is going on in their beautiful lives in a very loving, non-condemning way. It's as simple as ,"What did you do today?" or "Really? Tell me what you like about that..."

Go ahead. Ask. You'll be glad you did.

Yours, asking all kinds of questions!

Melissa

THE SOUNDS OF SILENCE…FINALLY!

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!  I’ve been waiting for this day for 10 years.  To be more precise, since the day I had my amnio and found out that both my babies were going to be boys, THIS is the day I’ve been looking forward to.  The day my husband takes my boys camping! 

You think I’m kidding, don’t you?  Seriously, when I learned that my twins were both boys, one of my first thoughts was, “How long before they camp overnight with Cub Scouts?  And how can I make sure Kent goes with them?”

So here it is; they leave today for 3 days and 2 nights of SILENCE in my household!  Unfortunately, due to some extenuating circumstances (you know, life happens) my 3 days won’t exactly be the solitude and blissdom that I envisioned, but I’ll still get in some quiet time and maybe even a massage.  What more can I ask for, really?

So here’s to peace and quiet, and a little bit of missing my boys, all of them!

Karen

One of THOSE Parents. . .

I always had ideas about parenting, growing p. What I would love to do for my kids, and what I would absolutely NEVER say or do. HA! That pretty much goes out the window in those moments of desperation. You would be surprised at the things that crop up and you think,"OUCH! I SWORE I would never say/do that!"

And then there are other things that we want to do/not do as parents. Something that I struggle with is busyness. Sometimes, I feel like my kids are asking me to play/interact with them all day long, and all I say is,"Not now, honey."

The question is, when does now ever get here?

I have to stop myself. It's harder to do this late in the summer, because, frankly, I'm ready to have a little space again. I'm ready for quieter days when constant conversation is not the norm. :-) But if I let myself get too busy for my kid- too busy to TALK, too busy to LISTEN, too busy to CARE, I'm letting them know they are on their own.

I'm not ready for them to be on their own. Independent is good, but if I want them to talk to me when they are in their teens, I have to listen and be available while they are in their tweens and elementary years.

Yes, I may have heard it all before. Yes, it may be the millionth time I've played that game. Yes, laughing over bodily function noises does not make my day. But one day, I may wish for that time back. I may want one more chance to listen and I might not get it.

So I'm taking that time today. The bed may stay unmade. My project may not get completed. We won't starve if I don't get EVERYTHING I need from the grocery. I can afford to read a little less in my book and listen to the story of my kids as it unfolds right in front of my eyes, while they are still willing to share.

Yours, making the most of every last minute of summer break,

Melissa

HELP! I LOST MY CHILD!

Have you ever heard a parent yelling those words?  Or worse yet, been the one panicking because you couldn’t find your child?  Even if it was only for a few seconds, there is no worse feeling than thinking you lost your child in an overcrowded place, such as an amusement park.

We lost Eric once at Disney World, and I thought my heart would just jump right out of my chest it was beating so hard.  Luckily we were on an attraction that was an island, so I knew he couldn’t go too far on his own, but visions of him being abducted were playing havoc on my brain.  We found him about 15 minutes later, thank goodness, playing innocently by himself, unaware that we were panicking.  Those 15 minutes were unforgettable.

Here are some tips to help you keep track of your children, or find them quickly if they become separated:

1. Make sure they know your real name.  Sounds silly, right?  But how many toddlers know that their mom’s name is Mary Smith and not just Mommy?
2. Teach them your cell phone number, but always put it on them someplace.  Put it in their pocket, on a dog tag around their neck, or even written on their arm with a permanent marker.  If they are upset that they are lost, they might become confused and forget the number.  Write it down.
3. Dress them in bright clothing so you can easily pick them out of a crowd.  I do this even when we just go to the park at home.
4. Teach them who is safe to approach.  Security or employees aren’t always around, so I tell them to find another mommy.  Do what makes you feel comfortable.
5. Carry their Child Identification Information with you.  In The Caregiver Organizer For My Child, there is a place to enter all their indentifying information, including fingerprints and a photo.  You should keep this with you, especially when on vacation.  Hopefully you’ll never, ever need it, but if you do, it’s ready to give to the authorities.
6. Lastly, when you find your child, don’t be angry at them.  Make the reunion a happy time so they don’t feel like they did something wrong.  She’s already scared at this point, so don’t make it worse.  Later, when everyone calms down, talk about it, and discuss what could have been done differently.

Hopefully you’ll never go through what we experienced in Disney World with Eric, but if you do, please be more prepared than we were.  I know we will be if there’s a next time!

Karen

What Do You Mean It's Not Friday???

It wasn't until about 8:00 in the car last night that I realized it was Friday, meaning I REALIZED I had not posted my Friday Fun! Ouch! I can see Karen tapping her foot at me already. Slap my forehead, where was my brain?!?!?

Still in Nashville. That's where it was. My body was on the road, somewhere between Paducah and Mt. Vernon, but my head was still in Nashville. Something strange happens when I'm there. My songwriting world completely takes over. Which is how should be, I suppose. It's probably a good thing that I live six hours away. Otherwise how would I ever focus on anything else? Or maybe, that in and of itself is the issue. Who knows. ?

But I do know that one of the best things ever is after being away for three days, having those small arms wrap around your waist and hearing a muffled,"Mommy! I missed you!" first thing in the morning. I think that trumps any number one hit, even in the country market.

It's a lot, setting up the sitters, leaving the meals, coming home to a mountain of laundry and having them ask first thing, so what are we going to do today when all I really want to do is have an extra three hours of sleep and then process everything that happened on my trip. But I wouldn't trade them for the world. Not even for a Grammy.

Yours, lucky to get to live more than one dream,

Melissa

Thursday Thoughts In Nashville

Melissa here, and I'm in Nashville once again. I'm doing exactly what Karen blogged about yesterday. I'm here because I'm following a dream.

I write. That's what I do. If I didn't, I think I would shrivel up and die. When i don't, I'm not easy to live with. When I'm writing, I'm in another place completely (mentally) just working it out. It haunts me. It gnaws at me until I've said it just perfectly. Sometimes it takes 30 minutes and sometimes I hold on to an idea for seven years. Sometimes an idea is for now, and sometimes it's for later. But I have to do it. Sometimes it's a song, other days it's an organizational book and still other times it is a long overdue letter of affection that someone close to me needs to hear.

On my drive down yesterday, I heard one of the first songs that really grabbed my attention with the way it was written and in when I listened to it the first time I realized,"Hey! I want to do that!" I needed to hear that song. This trip has had (and will continue to have) a lot of good moments, but there are always those moments where you say,"Why the HECK am I doing this?" And you wonder if it is all for naught.

Today, even though I had that moment, I choose to say it isn't. Today I choose to pursue my dreams. Today I choose to believe that even though the dream still looks far away, I can reach out and grab it by the tail and pull it back to me. Because without the pursuit of dreams, what else is there?

Yours, living the dream,

Melissa

PS- A special thanks to the Hub and Aunt Bet for their part in making my dreams possible. Love you!