Saturday Sass- WHEN is it MY turn? Anyone?

Growing up, we had one television. One. It was rather large, no remote. And programs came on at specific times. You know the drill. Being the third child of four, I pretty much had no claim to any form of preference of what to watch because I was fifth in line. MAYbe on my birthday, but that still was subject to The Head Honcho's  my father's preference for the evening news. And even though I could try to fight for control with my siblings, it was usually a lost battle. I was shorter and smaller. By the time I was able to be left on my own, I was too busy to watch TV.

Fast forward to present day. This morning, I wake up, come downstairs because I know the hooligans kids will be getting up soon and I would like to have a few minutes of peace and quiet. It's Memorial Day Weekend (Thank you, sincerely, to everyone who has served and laid down their lives for our country!) and so things are pretty relaxed (read: absolutely NO structure) in The B House. The Z Kids come down shortly after I do and begin laying around, watching TV and getting breakfast. 

Note 1: There are THREE (much to my chagrin, yes, I said chagrin) TVs in The B House. 

Note 2: The Z Kids have been banned from the TV in the master bedroom due to the jumping on the bed which always ensues. (And no, I cannot comment on the fact that there is a TV in the master bedroom. Another rant entirely. Trying to limit my rabbit trails here. Which is also another rant entirely. But I digress.)

So back to The Z Kids and TV. We're all on the main floor. Z1 decides he needs a little more destruction action than whichever the chosen cartoon may be and opts to blow things up on The Wii.  I'm enjoying my coffee in the kitchen. Z2 takes over the TV in the family room. After about 30 minutes, coffee has kicked in and I decide it is time for the news. Z2 had put in a movie.

Now, you must know, growing up, when my father walked into the room, if you were in "his seat" you got up immediately. If you were watching the TV, your program went by the wayside without question, comment or complaint. Period. Here was this morning's conversation:

Me, in a quiet, patient voice (yes, I actually have one of those and it comes through occasionally): Z2, I'd like to watch the news.

Z2: But I just started this movie and Zach is doing the Wii downstairs and blabbityblabbityblabbityblahblahblah (insert 10 more sentences to which I did try to listen but was unsuccessful).

Me: (still patient) Yes, I understand, but it is time for me to watch the news with my coffee. 

Z2: But I want to watch The Help and (insert 8 more sentences of ten year old     "But I want MY way!!!" debate.)

Me (less patient): Yes, I know, but I would like to watch the news and you have seen this movie twice and it can wait a little bit.

Z2: BUT (insert 12 more sentences of age ten debate. She'll make a good lawyer one day. No joke.)

Me (no patience, in the voice of Left Ear from "The Italian Job" when he says: I HAAAD a BAAAD Expier'ence.): IIIIII. am WATCHIIIIIING. The NEEEEEWS. 

Z2: (Roll eyes, sigh loudly, huff and mutter) Exits room.

It IS my house, right? I mean, I write the mortgage check every month. When's it my turn to hold the remote? Unequivocally?

Yours, enjoying my coffee and news before I go downstairs to sort The Z Kids out,

Melissa

Friday Funny- Mama Don't Like Lyin'

So Z1 is experiencing some growing pains. This usually happens about this time every year. But this one is a little more difficult because he is looking me in the eye and telling me lies. So I started busting him. You see, in this age of technology, it's a little bit harder to get away with things. Want to know his test score? What he had for lunch? What he did on the computer after school? All I have to do is look it up. 
After a recent bout of attitude, he found himself grounded from video games and TV. Yes, it can be a pit of a punishment for me as well, but I'm willing to do it to drive my point home. Now, I was attempting the honor system with him until I figured out he had been sneaking games and such when I wasn't around.It perturbed me, as I have always been able to count on him telling me the truth. Poor kid has always been honest to a fault. Since that seems to have shifted,  I decided to get proactive this morning. 
After he went to school, but before I left for word, I made sure to logoff the computer. Then I turned all of the cable channels on the TV to the Religion station where they show mass for 24 hours. I turned my TV in my room to The Weather Channel. 

And then I hid every single remote. 

It's my long day, so I don't get home for a bit. In fact, The Hubs will make it home before I do. And I didn't tell the sitter where they are, either.

Mama. Ain't. Playin'. You wanna watch? Go right ahead. We may not be Catholic, but maybe somethin' will happen while he's watching mass. 

Yours, uppin' the ante,

Melissa

NO TV OR INTERNET FOR 4 DAYS…THANKS AT&T!

Yep, my family went without TV and internet for 4 days, thanks to AT&T. Normally, I love their service. The customer service is great on the phone, the techs are great when they come out. But this time, well, they blew it. BIG time! And not just once. No, they blew it over and over again.

So without going into too much boring detail, I’ll just tell you that somehow they (“they” meaning the people NOT in St. Louis, where I am) decided I was part of a system outage, which I most definitely was not. One guy even told me that all of Missouri was out! So they kept canceling my service calls. Without telling me. Or calling me.

So after each missed service call, I’d call them, they’d tell me there is an outage, I’d tell them there isn’t, they’d call the dispatcher and tell them that information and reschedule the call, and the whole cycle would begin again. And again. 4 times, in fact. Until I finally got fed up enough and smart enough to demand that whether there is an outage or not I wanted a tech out there NOW and let me talk to a manager NOW. That worked!

Now I will say, that the guy that came out here was awesome and finally found the problem (thanks, dude!) and wouldn’t leave until he was sure all of our computers and TVs were working properly.

So our family is back to normal. The boys and I laid in bed this morning and watched Young Frankenstein. LOVE that movie! And even though most of the jokes went over their heads, they loved their first Mel Brooks movie, too!

All I have left to do is to call AT&T back and demand some compensation. I’ll have to get Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder out of my head and muster up some of that anger again!

Karen