Friday Funny- In Which I Wear It Like a Three Star General

I had been telling her I was going to do it, threatening my vengeance for nearly six months now. I'm all about second chances and third chances and such. But I could bear it no longer. So I finally made good on my threat and followed through.

You see, my Z1 is a bit of a, well, she's free with her belongings. That means wherever she happens to be is where her stuff will land. And if she's finished with it, it does not follow her into the next room. It RARELY makes it up to her bedroom to be out away. Not without some "strong encouragement" (yelling) anyway.

So I hit my limit this past week and walked into her room with a bag. I filled the bag and had to go back to the kitchen for another one. Anything that was on the floor or in a cluttery pile went into the bag. Purple feather boa? Check. Chloe, her American Girl doll? Yep. Half her socks? Mmhmm. A myriad of stickers, pens and assorted paper goods? Those almost made the real trash, but I managed to restrain myself.

She came home from school and I said not a word. We walked upstairs, both of us to our own rooms. As she was walking she looked at me and said,"I know, I know... I REALLY need to clean my room." She got to her room and let out a squeal of surprise and exclaimed,"Wow, Mom! You cleaned my room for me!"

"Yes I did, Baby, " I replied, not letting on to anything.

It wasn't until about 3 hours later I heard a,"Hey Mom, have you seen my such and such?"

"Yep. I have it."

"Great. Where is it? I'll go get it."

"Uhm, no. It's mine now. You'll need to earn it back," I said calmly.

"WHAAATTT?????!!!" She freaked. Her little legs went into a flurry as she ran up to her room and began a staunch inventory process. Oh the wailing and cries of despair! I remained unmoved.

After explaining how she would earn all of her items back, she was still dumbfounded. "Even my clothes?" she asked. "What will I do if you take all of my clothes?"

"I guess you'll be going to school naked. And winter's coming, so I suggest we break this habit during September and not December,"I stated dryly.

"That's... that's just... oooooooo that's mean!!!" she wailed.

"That's right, dear. Mean I am. Mean I will be. But I will not be your maid." I am now officially a "Mean Mom".

Guess where I'm heading with a bag this afternoon.... Giggling all the way. :)

Yours, wishing you a cleaning free weekend,

Melissa

Tuesday Tidbit-The Piles

I have this habit. It's not something I love or hate about myself. I've embraced it. It's what I do. It's how I organize. And it's how I find everything.

I make piles.

 

At least, that's what my husband calls them. I don't do it everywhere. Just the dining room table. And the office desk. And my nightstand. Oh, and sometimes on the piano when it's a busy music season. Oops- the kitchen counter mail pile. I do try to keep it confined. And when he is going to use the office to do bills, I go in and move all of my neat piles off the desk and hide them under the credenza so I don't get the "Piles Lecture" (If you would just put things away when you are finished using them, blahbbity, blah, blah. . . You make so many piles! Blahbbity, blah, blah, blah. . . to which I usually just say,"Yes, I know. I'll go clean up my piles.").

Mind you, when something is "missing" (ahem, has been carelessly shoved aside by someone other than myself), I usually can tell him the exact location with the preciseness of most GPSs.

This is what I don't understand. What is the difference between my "piles" which consist of books, papers, books, receipts, mail, kidformation, more books and magazines and these other things which seemingly cannot be labeled piles like that mysterious pile of fabric that makes it TO the hamper, but not IN the hamper. Or how about the mound of breakfast dishes that make it to the sink, but not in the dishwasher?What about the tower of DVDs that never make it into their case until cleaning day? Or my fav, the stack of shoes placed in the middle of the steps RIGHT WHERE I WILL INVARIABLY TRIP OVER THEM AND FALL RIGHT INTO THE CAR even though I have repeatedly, ad nauseum, asked that they simply be placed to the side? But I'm not bitter. :-)

Hmmmmm.... I can see that discerning the difference between my "piles" and all of these other round, growing heaps may take some deep reflection and focus. Maybe even research. Anyone have any insight, I'm all ears.

Yours, tackling my Tuesday pile,

Melissa