MY 96 POUND VICIOUS “BABY”

How is it that my 96 pound dog can be such a big baby? He really can be a menacing, vicious dog at times. He growls, barks, and has even been known to be very unfriendly towards other dogs and some people. But bring on a thunderstorm or a few fireworks, and he turns into a sniffling, shaking weenie!

And the other night I found out, it could be much, much less than obvious, loud noises that freak him out. Let me tell you about it.

I was abruptly woken up at about 2 in the morning to my dog climbing in bed with me. But when he gets in bed with me because he’s scared, he climbs on top of my head. Have you ever had 96 furry pounds on top of your head? Not great for breathing! After I finally get out from under him, and my hubby finally gets him out of bed, we realize that it’s not even storming outside, so we can’t figure out what the heck is wrong with him. But at 2 in the morning, who cares, right? By this time, I had gone to the bathroom, and of course he had followed me and hunkered down underneath the sink. Fine. Stay there, you big wuss!

Next thing I hear is a smoke detector chirping that the battery is low. Aha! So that’s what’s freaking him out. Our plan is to ignore it until morning. Yeah, right! Fine, we’ll change the battery. But in these newer houses, there’s a smoke detector in EVERY room, so we have to stand very still, waiting for the chirp, to try to figure out which one it is. We think it’s the hall detector, so we change it. CHIRP! Nope, let’s try the office. CHIRP! Crap, maybe it’s the sewing room. CHIRP! OMG, really? At this point, we’re both getting REALLY pissed! So imagine how stupid we felt when we realized that it wasn’t a smoke detector at all, it was the Carbon Monoxide detector in, of course, THE HALL!!!

I totally blame the dog for all of this. If it hadn’t been for him, I would have slept right through all of that chirping.

Damn weenie dog!

Karen