As I was saying on Monday, Z1 is getting older. I felt it in Wal-mart when he kept walking away to look at things on his own. I distinctly felt it today when walking him into school. Instead of hugging and kissing me like he usually does, he put two fingers to his lips and blew me a kiss with a,"Gee, Mom, I hope you understand that I really do love you but it might make me look uncool if I demonstrate that at the moment." I blew him a kiss back. I know, I should be grateful that he acknowledges any sort of affection in public. But he's just going to have to get over the kissing/hugging hello and goodbye thing. There are some things I refuse to relinquish.
I was talking about this with Karen today, and came to this conclusion.
HYPOTHESIS: You know, when our kids were 2 and 3, we thought that as they grew, we were going to become less involved in their lives. They would become independent and not need me as much anymore. At the young ages, they need me there to facilitate and help and be involved. But as they grow up, they'll want to be more on their own.
CONCLUSION: 100% False. The older they get, the more they need me. Seriously. At the end of the summer. I took a job that allows me to be with my kids 4 out of 5 weekday afternoons. Do you know how much I'm learning? WHOA! And not just about them, either. I hear everything about everyone at that school. And at church. And Scouts, Baseball and Gymnastics. Listening to them, I'm helping them process and navigate tricky (for their age) social waters and responsibilities. The thinking it through help requires more attention than I ever had to give doing that "ABC Puzzle" at age 2.
And how about the older they get? We haven't even hit Middle School yet. Karen, whose sister has a young teenager, tells me that you have to be all about their business, but you have to do it in "stealth mode". Any suggestions? Because you know how I feel: Their business IS my business and I'm going to be all up IN their business until the day they sign their first lease agreement on their own apartment. And even then I make no guarantees.
But this stealth mode thing requires me to be in their business without them knowing I know. How in the heck? I'm like a bull in a china closet.... HELP!
Yours, taking thoughts and suggestions,
Melissa
When I tell people that I fully intend to read my kids' text messages and emails and see where they go on the web, some tell me I'll be invading their privacy. Privacy, shmivacy. It's my job to protect them, and I'll do what I have to do to accomplish that job, no matter what it takes.
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